Sunday, October 10

30 Truths - Day 10

Day 10 → Someone or something you need to let go of, or wish you didn’t know.

I wish I didn't have to know the face of infertility.

It was a year ago that we had our 1st visit with the Reproductive Endocrinologist (fertility specialist). After many diagnostic tests & much bloodwork it was determined I have "undiagnosed infertility". Which means they have no frickin' clue why Shane & I can't get pregnant or stay pregnant. There is nothing medically or physically wrong with either one of us. Shane has rockstar sperm & I have good egg reserve & for my age that is a huge hurdle to get past. So you can imagine how frustrating & disappointing & sad it is to know all this, to have done numerous procedures & hormone injections, spent more $ than I care to add up & a year later still have no baby. It just sucks. Plain & simple.

I worry my time is running out. I worry that we may never be parents. I worry about going into debt trying to have a baby. I worry that I will have to just settle for this childless life we have been given thus far.

So many worries....I just need to learn to let it go.

3 comments:

Desiree said...

I hate that for you - are you feeling any better about things in general?

BTW, love the new design!

Amy said...

I guess this goes a little more with Day 9 (losing touch), but I do wish I knew more about your journey and I hope you know that I am always here to listen.

I hope you know that over the internet, I am holding your hand.

Cori said...

I hate that anyone has to know infertility. It makes my heart hurt for you.
But please know this, Heather. Looking back, I can now see the "plan" in our IF battle. God's plan that is. This WILL be okay, eventually. And these days will be a memory. Just hang on and keep praying. I'm always praying for you, btw. I really have been.