Halloween

Tonight everyone in our cul-de-sac gathered outside around the driveway for our Annual Halloween Gathering. We all brought a dish to share, enjoyed tons of food & a few adult beverages while handing out candy to all the "ghosts & goblins". Julie, Heather, Melissa & Gael

I look forward to this event every year & just LOVE Halloween & all the fun the fall season brings. Lucky for us, Shane didn't have to work this year & got to participate with us. He had fun handing out candy while checking out all the cute costumes the kiddos were wearing. Although, I think he ate more candy than he handed out ;)

Gael, Dave & Teri keeping warm in front of the fire

We all stuffed ourselves silly on chili, taco soup, goulash stew, cornbread, chips & cheese dip, cookies & LOTS of candy. It was a beautiful night to be outside gathered around the firepit with such great neighbors.

Hope you all had a fun & safe Halloween!

30 Truths - Day 30

Day 30 → Write a letter & tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Woo hoo - I have finally reached the very last "truth" in this 30 Days of Truth Challenge. I am surprised I actually stuck with it & finished it - only because I know myself! I do think that this last "truth" is kind of dumb, but it is my very last 30 Truths post so I gotta finish what I started! So here goes...

Dear HT,

On how I love thyself! Let me count the ways....

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Okay, so I took the easy way out & quoted a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning only because I honestly sat here for like 20 minutes & had NO clue what to write - so forgive me. I am just glad to be done with this daily blogging about the "truth". It was beginning to be quite the chore sitting down every night trying to figure out what to post.

Hopefully you learned a little bit about me these past 30 days!? I actually have a blog challenge similiar to this one called "30 Days of Me" which I plan on doing later down the road. But for now, HT is in need of a break...

30 Truths - Day 29

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself and why.

Lose 10 lbs - why? for the sake of my health, my wardrobe & my mental status

This last year, I have been battling with my weight. I contribute it to all the hormone injections from the fertility treatments & my state of mind from month after month. My weight will go up, then comes down, then goes back up. Since I basically wear "PJ's" everyday to work (scrubs) I try to do a "jeans check" once a week to make sure I'm not gaining too much weight. When the jeans are snug I try to watch what I eat for awhile. When they are loose I eat everything around the house. It is a constant battle.

If I threw some exercise in the mix I might have a better handle on my fluctuating weight. But if you recall my "truth" from Day 1 I am a huge procrastinator. It is one of my flaws & I am working on it....maybe I will start next week?! :)

30 Truths - Day 28

Day 28 → What if you found out you were pregnant, what would you do?

Since we have been trying to conceive for the past 4 years now, I would most definitely cry. Then I would do a happy dance all around the house & would feel SO very thankful & blessed.

30 Truths - Day 27

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My marriage.

It is the only rock solid thing I am absolutely sure of at this given moment. With my husband, I don't have to guess. Our relationship isn't childish or insincere or fake nor do we play games. It's the most perfect, honest, challenging thing I could have asked for in a relationship & I love it. I wouldn't trade him or our relationship for anything in the world.

Family's can have their own sets of issues, my friends may grow distant or just plain write me off but the one thing I am sure of is that my marriage is there. Thriving away even in the bad days. With Shane I know I can do anything, I can be anything because he's the only completely honest person I have in my life. He doesn't play games or lie, he's a wonderful, loving, sincere & truthful person - even when I don't want to hear it. And as cheesy as this line may be it is SO true....he completes me :)

30 Truths - Day 26

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I can honestly say I have never experienced anything that has been so bad that I had wanted to give up on life.

When the chips are down & times are tough, & no matter how bad today may be, there is always a chance for a better tomorrow.

BBQ Gathering

*was waiting to post this until I got the pics from Melissa - thanks girl for being our photographer once again :)

This last Saturday turned out to be a busy day. I had an annual eye exam first thing in the morning, then Holiday Mart with Jilly, ran to the grocery store afterwards, came home to make Homemade Mac-n-Cheese & a chocolate bundt cake for a BBQ at Michelle & Rob's & made my way over to their house at 6:30 pm. Shane was still sleeping when I left (since he worked all night Friday) but promised to come over after he woke up.

Michelle & Rob were awesome hosts & had quite the spread in the kitchen & out in the garage. They provided smoked meat (ribs, shredded pork, chicken & brisket) while everyone brought a side dish to share. It turned out to be a fabulous meal & everyone made sure to leave room for dessert. Rob had even set up a flat screen TV in the garage so that is where most of the boys gathered all evening to watch college football & the baseball game while the ladies hung around in the kitchen. That is where the desserts were - we are not dumb.

Throughout the evening, we shared many stories, many laughs & had many glasses of wine & by the end of the evening, things had gotten a little crazy. By now Shane had made his way over to the party & was in rare form cracking us all up with his stories & commentary. This is how he usually is when he has had one too many glasses of scotch! (see glass in pic - yes that is all scotch :)

At one point in the evening, things got out of control. I'm not sure how or even why, but Keri & Jill got it in their heads that they were going to try & fit themselves through the doggie door downstairs! I guess that is what drinking too much wine will do to you!? LOL
These girls are both tiny & fit through the door no problem! Then everyone was pressuring HT to go through the door. Not sure why I thought I could fit my dumb ass through there but everyone else thought I could so why not try!

Um - let's just say that this sister is big-boned & has too much "junk in her trunk"! My hips got stuck & Michelle tried her hardest to push me through. By this point I am laughing so hard that I am crying because my big ass got stuck. Needless to say, I managed to wiggle myself free but not before some pics & lots of laughs from the peanut gallery. Did I forget to mention that there were jello shots??? (And yes syringes may or may not have been used in the making of the jello shot) And alot of wine???

And delicious desserts???

A fun evening seemed to be had by all & a lesson was learned: Dog doors are meant for dogs. Not people.

And I definitely have the bruises to show for it!

Top 2

Top 2 Favorite Halloween or Fall crafts/decor/party ideas

Sorry I haven't posted Top 2 the last couple of weeks. I have been a bit busy but this is one Top 2 that I didn't want to miss out on! Decorating for Fall around the house is something I LOVE to do & am always looking for new ideas! Here are a couple of my favorites:

1) I made something similar to this last year. They are super cute & SO easy to create. They can be used for Thanksgiving table centerpieces or placed on a coffee or end table or even displayed around a fireplace or on the mantel.


2) This is what I am going to do to the pumpkins that are outside displayed on our front steps. A little spray paint, some letter stencils & some glitter & you got a super cute idea for the front entryway.

30 Truths - Day 25

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Because God isn't finished with me yet.

I truly belive that God has a purpose for every single person & you won’t die until that purpose is fulfilled. If you are still alive, then you haven’t completed what you were put on earth to do. If you haven’t completed what you were put on earth to do, then your very purpose hasn’t been fulfilled. If your purpose hasn’t been fulfilled, then the most important part of your life is still ahead.

I guess I have yet to make that most important contribution & I haven't completed what I was put on this earth to do.

'Nuff said...

30 Truths - Day 24

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, & explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles, artists & letter)

“Just” post the titles AND artists AND letter. AFTER you explain why you chose ALL the songs.

"F" that.

No.

Going to have to pass on this one.

I don't have the time nor do I have the energy today to do all that the question asks of me.

30 Days of Truth has now become 29 Days of Truth & 1 Act of Rebellion.

Sorry to disappoint people!

Holiday Mart 2010

It's that time of year again - time for my most favorite shopping event of the year - Holiday Mart!

This morning I met my girlfriend Jilly for our annual holiday shopping extravaganza at Holiday Mart. I hadn't seen her in forever so it was really nice to be able to spend some one-on-one time with her catching up. We walked up & down all the aisles checking out each & every booth that was set up & managed to spend a little money as well.

The highlight of my shopping experience had to be when I stopped by a booth that was displaying Kristian Alfonso's jewelry line.

For those of you who don't know who Kristian Alfonso is, she plays Hope Brady on Days of our Lives. I have watched this soap since I was a teenager - well over 25 years - & Hope has been on that soap even longer. I just love her!

For the last couple of years, she has been wearing these beautiful custom pieces of jewelry on the soap that she has designed herself & I just love her line.

So as I am admiring a few of her necklaces, I hear this lady say to me "Do you have any questions about any of the pieces?" Imagine my shock when I look up & right next to me is Kristian Alfonso herself. I was literally starstruck! She is even more beautiful in person & I was amazed at how very tiny she was! She was maybe 5'3" at the most & can't be any bigger than a size 2! I chatted with her for a few minutes asking her about a certain necklace she always wears on Days which wasn't on display & she told me I could order it online. She was so nice & very down to earth.

I was going to pull out my camera & ask for a picture but thought it might be rude so I didn't. Besides, it was SO very crowded where we were at & I didn't want to make a spectacle of either one of us. Kind of wish I would have gotten a pic now :(

It ended up being a great afternoon spent with a very dear friend & I am so very happy that we were able to go! Thanks Jilly for such a fun shopping adventure!

Until next year....

30 Truths - Day 23

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

This is kind of a strange question seeing that I have a lot of living left to do & lots of things yet to accomplish!? But if I evaluate life up to this point & what I wish I had done earlier in life it would have to be: I wish I would have started contributing to my employers 401K as soon as it was available to me to participate in. (Sorry if you were looking for something a bit more exciting!)

Had I done this in my early 20's, I would be a lot closer to my goal for retirement. I started getting serious about a 401k & started contributing about 10 years ago. Unfortunately, I was about 10 years behind when I should have started :( Oh well - I guess if I retire at age 65 then I have the next 27 years to catch up!

30 Truths - Day 22

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I can honestly say that I do not have a single thing in my life that I wish I did not do.

Sure I wish I hadn't gotten into credit card debt at such a young age but going through that has made me the responsible adult with money that I am today. Sure I wish I hadn't wasted so much time on relationships that were going nowhere but had I not had those experiences, I probably wouldn't have found Shane. I also wish I knew back then what I know now.

However, all these mistakes I have made & all the problems I endured were all worth it & have made me the person I am today. I truly believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. All of the lessons & mishaps & messes, is simply life. I have learned something from everything that has ever happened to me.

Living life is to learn life. You should make every second count for something. You should be able to make mistakes & learn from them. Nobody is perfect & it is what we learn from our experiences that counts. Be strong, productive & independent - that is what life has taught me so far & I don't regret a thing.

30 Truths - Day 21

Day 21 → Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

(Ok...this question is dumb. I used to think that there was no such thing as a dumb question but the question to Day 21 has proven me wrong.)

What do I do? I would get in my car & haul ass to whatever hospital my friend is at to be with them - duh!

30 Truths - Day 20

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Drugs = bad (unless they are in the medicine cabinet & then they are sometimes a blessing)

Alcohol = good (especially when in a margarita, wine glass, or an ice cold beer on a hot day)

30 Truths - Day 19

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

I was raised Catholic, married in a Methodist church & attend a non-denominational church. We don't go to church as much as we should, but I do believe in God. I sometimes question the power of prayer because of all the praying I have done this past year & it still hasn't brought me the one thing I so desperately desire. That & I still haven't won the lottery.

I am a Republican & I prefer not to discuss politics. It's the same as religion. People have their own views & discussing it with someone who doesn't have the same beliefs or views is just an argument waiting to happen.

That's all I got. Sorry it's not more juicy...

30 Truths - Day 18

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

And so the controversy begins....

I personally think that there is no reason for anyone to be denied the right to marry someone who they love & want to spend the rest of their lives with. I feel that it is none of my business how other people live their lives...especially their sex lives.

However, this is how the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word "marriage":

(1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law

So if marriage means to unite with the opposite sex & be recognized by law then gay people really can't be "married" now can they? Maybe if they changed the wording of a gay couples "union" then it might be more socially acceptable!?

Pumpkin Cupcakes

Was in the mood for some fall baking today. Thought I would share with you these yummy morsels:

Pumpkin Cupcakes with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting

Mmmmmm - oh so yummy!Email me if you would like the recipe: taylorh522@yahoo.com

30 Truths - Day 17

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Dave Ramsey - Total Money Makeover

This book was given to me & each of my siblings by my parents 2 Christmas' ago. It is a GREAT book if you are trying to find ways to pay off debt.

Before I read this book, we lived the life of luxury, spending our money on whatever we wanted to & not putting nearly what we should towards a nest egg. We didn't really have much debt - or so I thought! To me debt meant credit cards but to Dave Ramsey debt was anything you owed money on - your car, your house, your school loans, etc. After he explained that aspect of it, I soon realized just how much "debt" we really did have.

We have slowly started to implement some of his strategies into our spending habits & apply the "Dave Ramsey Way" to our style of living. It can be tough some days, but I am hoping that using these strategies will bring us success down the road.

Nell Hills

The majority of my day today was spent with the neighborhood girls as we traveled to Atchison, KS for some lunch & shopping. I had heard all kinds of talk from Michelle & Keri about how fabulous this little store called Nell Hill's was so we all ventured up north to check it out. When I first walked in I was in love. The building inside looked like an old house complete with differently decorated rooms. It was like a down-sized version of Holiday Mart with Christmas decorations hanging everywhere in every nook & cranny from floor to ceiling that could be seen. It also had an over the top, hodgepodge of beautiful accessories, furniture & home decor all throughout & everything that could be seen was for sale.There were branches & greenery suspended from the ceilings as well as lanterns, candle holders & ornaments. Tall bookshelves & armoires were packed with china, dishware & crystal. Tables were set with dishes & dinner displays with towering iron & glass urns overflowing with flowers & branches all hung with more candles & lanterns. It was fabulous. I soon discovered that shopping at Nell Hill's required a game-plan as it was a bit overwhelming. First thing you need to do is stand back & try to take it all in. Stop before entering each room, assess your surroundings & let your eyes do the wandering. Then, slowly enter & focus on each area or piece of furniture, all the while examining the beautifully arranged pieces, the interesting & elaborate colors & the texture combinations. Then finally, take in the detail of each room because trust me....there is ALOT of detail.

And if that wasn't enough visual stimulation for one day, we headed on over next door to their "sister" shop called Garrity's for some more home decor shopping. After taking it all in, we were ready to eat some lunch so we headed up the street to a cute little restaurant called Jerry's for some sandwiches & some re-energizing.

It ended up being a gorgeous 82 degrees out which makes it hardly feel like fall but makes for a wonderful day spent with great girlfriends!

30 Truths - Day 16

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Humidity.

It makes it feel way hotter than it really is, wreaks havoc on my hair, makes me feel like I never showered, makes my allergies flare up & makes me feel uncomfortable in general.

Yeah, I could pretty much live without it & never miss it.

30 Truths - Day 15

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

No doubt about it.....

I Am The Face

Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Each year, an estimated 500,000 babies are lost to miscarriage, 1 in every 148 births are stillborn, & 3 babies in every 1,000 die shortly after being born. While the families touched by these losses struggle with their grief throughout the year, today we all pause to remember the babies that were lost.

I AM THE FACE campaign was created to spread awareness of pregnancy/infant loss, & raise support for those who are affected by it. I am one of the faces affected by pregnancy/infant loss everyday.
Tonight I will light a candle at 7pm to honor those babies that have been lost. Please go to www.iamtheface.org to show your support and join the movement.

Too many women have to go through this journey alone & fortunately for me I was able to find a group of women who were there doing my weakest times. Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss shouldn't feel like a taboo subject. Awareness should be as common as AIDS or Cancer awareness. The little ones lost deserve to be honored just as those who suffer from disease and cancer.

I often remember our sweet angels that were taken from us too soon in March '09 & August '09 - especially today.

I am also remembering all those babies who grew wings too soon, for all my friends & loved ones who have had to take the journey of miscarriage, pregnancy loss, & still birth. My heart is with you all today.

30 Truths - Day 14

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down.

Oprah Winfrey

Dear Oprah,
You have been my hero for years but this past September you let me down. How disappointed I was to hear you will be ending your show in 2011 :( What will I do come 9pm & you are no longer there to watch? You have become my primetime-staple & have grown used to the fact that you are always there when nothing else is on TV. How will I make it through November without your "Favorite Things" show? I will be out of the "know" when it comes to the "in" things to buy for X-mas gifts or for myself. It's because of you that I learned about Apple Bottom jeans, Skype, Nate Berkus, & a new word: va-jay-jay. With your absence, I am going to miss out on so much. Oh how you will be missed....

Regards,
HT

30 Truths - Day 13

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.

Kenny Chesney

Through the good times & the bad, Kenny has always been there for me & for that I am grateful. He calms me when I am upset & has often serenaded me home from a crappy day at work. He has made a road trip to South Dakota seem not so long, time spent on the patio listening to him on the outside speakers enjoyable, & cleaning the house not so boring. He will even get me up out of my chair for a little line dancing in the kitchen. Kenny is my 2nd love & my hubby oddly enough is ok with that :)

30 Truths - Day 12

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

My ability to spell things.

That's right. I can spell & I am darn proud of it.

For those of you who don't know, I am an 8th grade Spelling Bee champion in my middle school. Many of the people I work with know this so when we are doing the daily crossword in the newspaper on our lunch break, I am the one that is always asked "Heather, how do you spell _______"?

I usually bust out in perfect spelling bee form & ask "Can you use that word in a sentence, please?" Followed by saying the word, spelling it, then saying it again. It cracks my co-workers up everytime. I always end up spelling the word correctly but never get the praise for doing so. They just fill in their missing word as I am spelling it & go about doing their puzzle.

I guess I take being a Spelling Bee champ & bit more serious than most!?!

30 Truths - Day 11

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

It may sound selfish, but I have been complimented on alot of things throughout my years. "You have pretty naturally curly hair" or "You are so talented when it comes to making/designing/creating things" or "You are too nice" or "You have pretty eyes" or "You have the biggest heart" but the one thing I have been told time & time again is that I am a really good friend.

I take this as a huge compliment as it is hard to find a true friend out there these days that you can trust, depend on, receive unconditional support, encouragement & most important...honesty. I strive to be all these & then some when it comes to my friendships. I take pride in the fact that I am a good friend who can keep a secret, who is always there when I am needed, who can provide encouragement & a positive attitude when times are tough, who can be that ear to bend or that shoulder to lean on when need be, who will be honest with you & say to you "that color is SO not you" or "that is NOT a good look on you". A true friend will keep it real with you...always.

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had." ~ Unknown

30 Truths - Day 10

Day 10 → Someone or something you need to let go of, or wish you didn’t know.

I wish I didn't have to know the face of infertility.

It was a year ago that we had our 1st visit with the Reproductive Endocrinologist (fertility specialist). After many diagnostic tests & much bloodwork it was determined I have "undiagnosed infertility". Which means they have no frickin' clue why Shane & I can't get pregnant or stay pregnant. There is nothing medically or physically wrong with either one of us. Shane has rockstar sperm & I have good egg reserve & for my age that is a huge hurdle to get past. So you can imagine how frustrating & disappointing & sad it is to know all this, to have done numerous procedures & hormone injections, spent more $ than I care to add up & a year later still have no baby. It just sucks. Plain & simple.

I worry my time is running out. I worry that we may never be parents. I worry about going into debt trying to have a baby. I worry that I will have to just settle for this childless life we have been given thus far.

So many worries....I just need to learn to let it go.

30 Truths - Day 9

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

I am blessed to have many girlfriends in my life. As I think about them all they are categorized in "groups" of girlfriends. There are the Neighborhood Girls, the Work Girls, my Blog Girls, my South Carolina Girls, my High School Girls, my College Girls & then all the other girlfriends I have met & remained friends with throughout life.

Sadly though, I have lost touch with a few of these girls. Not on purpose but more like life got in the way, we all got busy & we just drifted apart. I never get to see them but thanks to the internet & cell phones I get to keep up with them through their blogs, emails or sending a text to let them know I am thinking of them. I miss our days of getting together for drinks or dinner for some catching up but am thankful they are still in my life. Even if it's only through technology.

A life with no girlfriends is not a life I want to know....

30 Truths - Day 8

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell or treated you badly in the past.

This is a tough one. I can't say there has been anyone in my life that has made my life hell & I usually don't allow someone to treat me like shit for long. I just don't have time for those kind of people in my life so they end up being removed from my "friend-list" pretty quickly. I guess you can say I kind of have an "F You" policy & will put it to use whenever I see fit.

Treat me like shit once = shame on you

Treat me like shit twice = shame on me

Treat me like shit three times = "F You - we are done - game over"

30 Truths - Day 7

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

*I can't narrow it down to just one person...

- my husband. For without me in his life, he wouldn't be able to find his car keys, or his wallet, or his ball cap, or the black t-shirt with the UPS logo on it, or the flashlight, or the cold medicine, or the.....well, you get the picture! He is forever lost when it comes to finding stuff. When he asks me where things are it makes me feel needed, it makes me feel loved & it validates the fact he couldn't live without me :) So for those things alone, it makes life worth living!

- my family. Oh how awesome my family is. Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights & our comfort when we occasionally falter. I am so lucky to have such a close-knit family. These people have watched out for me, helped me when times were bad, shared in my good times, have challenged me & have inspired me to be better. They are always there when you need to lean on them & have never judged. And being an Aunt to 2 nieces & 3 nephews is the best job in the world!

- my friends. Without them my life would boring & my social calendar would be empty :) The best thing about my girlfriends is that I know they always have my back. They laugh with me during happy times & provide a shoulder to cry on during bad times. They understand when I have been silent & respect me when I have been out of touch. They make my life fun, meaningful & definitely interesting. They provide me with advice when I need it & even when I don't think I need it. They accept me as I am & never try to change me but will correct me in a skinny minute when I am at fault. I am so very lucky to have such a great group of friends in my life & have been blessed by each one's relationship with me.

30 Truths - Day 6

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Experience life without a child of our own.

Shane & I have been struggling with infertility for almost 4 years now. Most of you reading this blog don't know much about this part of our lives because I don't like to share it with too many people. Over a year ago, we started seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist (fertility specialist) & haven't had any success. It is very frustrating because we have been diagnosed with "unexplained infertility" which means there is no medical reason why we can't get pregnant. It has been mentally, physically & financially draining & after all the appointments & injections & blood work & procedures we are not exactly sure where to go from here. We are weighing our options & hope that whatever we decide will provide us with a child to call our own. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue on this journey...

Top 2

This weeks top 2 is - Dream Kitchens

I would love to be able to design the kichen of my dreams. If I was ever given the chance, these would be my top 2:

I like the clean, crisp look of this kitchen. Love the white cabinets with the black granite counter tops & pewter accents/appliances.

This next kitchen is total opposite from above. I love the warmth & Tuscan-style this kitchen portrays. I would love to curl up at the island with a cup of coffee & just take it all in.

30 Truths - Day 5

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

There are many things that I am hoping to do in life & it has always been a dream of mine to one day go on a hot air balloon ride. Shane thinks I am crazy & isn't excited about going with me so I will either be going solo or with anybody who wants to join me.

It is on my list of "things to do" before I die so I'm hoping to one day get this dream of mine accomplished!

30 Truths - Day 4

Day 04 → Something you should forgive someone else for.

I like to think of myself as a forgiving person. I usually don't hold a grudge. I get mad, deal with it & then it’s over. However, there is one person that used to be in my life that I have had a hard time forgiving for the things they have done. It takes a lot for me to reach a point where I write someone off, but once they’ve crossed a line, I am done.

Lucky for me, day 4 of truths doesn’t insist that I forgive someone – just that I write about something I should forgive them for. I can do that. I can write about why I wrote this person off. I can talk about how they crossed that line & I can discuss why I have never forgotten what they did - even though I turned out far better without this person in my life.

The person I am referring to is my biological father. When I was a baby, he up & left me & my mom for another woman. I can't even get past that first sentence without feeling a twinge of anger. What kind of man does that to his wife & daughter?? I can't even imagine what my mom went through at that time & that is the one thing I have been unable to forgive him for - abandonment.

Through the years, he tried to be present in my life by sending me birthday/Christmas presents & making a few phone calls during the year. When I was in high school I went to visit a couple of times & again when I was in college. He never once attempted to come visit me or make it to any of my graduations or important events in my life.

During my visits to their beach house, I spent the majority of my time with his wife while he was out golfing or playing with her 2 kids. It was fun back then because I didn't really understand the "what" or the "why" of the visits but I later figured it out for myself. And that is one more thing I have been unable to forgive him for - neglect.

Without going into too much detail, when I was 26 years old I cut him completely out of my life & haven't looked back. I wrote a very long letter to him that expressed all my frustration & anger at him through the years & it felt good to get all that pent up anger out. I never heard back from him.

I often wonder if he feels regret for what he did to us....to me. I wonder if he feels it was worth it all these years to have given up having a relationship with his only child. I fear what I will feel (if anything) when he is gone & I never forgave him. Will I regret not speaking to him all these years!? Or even worse, how will I feel having forgiven him but never letting him know!?

Baptism & Shopping

This morning we all met at my brother-in-law Ben's grandparents church for the baptism of my nephew Cael. It was a gorgeous Lutheran church with huge tall ceilings, beautiful stained glass & elaborate woodwork throughout.The baptism was held at the beginning of the service which we were all thankful for because we were unsure how long the little ones would last. There were four babies being baptized during that ceremony & surprisingly, they all behaved very well.

My sister & Ben chose my brothers' Chris & Steve to be the godfathers of Cael & they joined them up at the altar for the baptismal ceremony.

After the baptism, we had to say goodbye to our family as they were all headed back home. I made sure to get one last hug from my adorable nephew Tanner before they left :)

Steve, Meghan, Caleb & I headed back to the hotel, quickly changed & were off to the Mall of America. We had decided that we were going to stay an extra day so we could take in this massive mall & I was super excited since I have never been before. With 4 levels & over 520 stores to shop in - who wouldn't be excited?!?I always get Shane a little souvenir when I take trips without him & today I ended up getting him a Minneapolis Harley Davidson t-shirts. Got a pink one for myself also :)

After shopping, we all headed over to Nickelodeon Universe so that Caleb could have fun on some rides. It was a great afternoon & I am so glad we stayed the extra day. By 7pm we were all shopped out so we headed back to the hotel for dinner, hot tubbing, a glass of wine & then early to bed.

Such a fun weekend but unfortunately it went by way too quickly! We are back on the road tomorrow (Monday) to KC & back to work on Tuesday! Hoping everyone has safe travels!

30 Truths - Day 3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Hmmmmm - this has required some thinking.

Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything I need to forgive myself for. I have never cheated or done intentional harm to anyone. I don't have a drinking or drug problem. I have never stole anything or done anything that requires forgiving & if I have, I forgave myself a long time ago & moved on.

Now don't get me wrong...I am in no way perfect either. I have done things I have regretted in the past but I chose to deal with it at that time & move forward. In doing so, I try to remember these 5 things listed below to help me get over my mistakes, make amends with myself & the situation & move on in life:

1. Forgive yourself. Be straight with yourself & admit that you have made a mistake & did not value whatever you lost. By doing this you give yourself a chance to make amends for the future.

2. Tough times do not last but tough people do. Remember that tomorrow is a new day & it will be a better one.

3. Seek forgiveness from those you have disappointed even if they have no interest in giving you another chance. This takes courage. You may be rejected, dismissed, dishonored...or hopefully forgiven. It's worth the risk.

4. Make amends where necessary: Return money, stay late, work weekends, go the extra mile. Whatever it is & if required, just do it!

5. Learn from your mistakes. Spiritual growth cannot be learned without "messing up" along our way. Once you have done everything you can do, you will be back on track to the path of happiness.

"To forgive & not to forget is like burying the hatchet with the handle sticking out."
~ Author Unknown

Minnesota, here we come!

I met by brother Steve & his family early this morning for a road-trip up to Minneapolis for the weekend. My nephew Cael is getting baptized tomorrow so my family all made their way to MN for the weekend festivities.

My sister Jen & her husband Ben held a picnic at the park for all the family that came from out of town. They grilled burgers & hot dogs & had yummy sides for all. After everyone ate, we enjoyed some cake & spent a couple hours mingling with family.

Me, my brother Chris, my sister-in-law Meghan & my brother Steve

After the picnic, we all headed back to the hotel where we enjoyed some adult beverages as we watched all the little ones play in the pool. It is always good times hanging with my family!

30 Truths - Day 2

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Believe it or not, there are several things I love about myself. The first one would be I love that I am a super organized individual. I can't stand clutter or things that are messy in my home. My closet is organized by color & by types of clothing. I cook with a washcloth in my hand to clean up spills & splatters right when they occur. I keep my husband sane by always knowing where things are located when he asks me - which is ALL the time. Everything in my life has a place & if things get out of place they are quickly moved back just so that I can feel like all is right in my little world once again :)

I love that I have a passive personality. Those that know me knows it takes a lot to get me worked up or excited about something. It is also a very calming trait to have when you are married to someone who is the exact opposite. As I have gotten older, I have become much more "passive" about things & this drives Shane crazy. He can't understand how I can be so calm all the time about stuff & then thinks I don't care when I don't show a reaction. In my line of work, I have come to realize that life is too short, you can't change the inevitable & you shouldn't sweat the small stuff because most of the time, it is all small stuff.


I love that I am tenderhearted & sensitive & that I allow myself to feel. I am touched & inspired by other peoples struggles - especially health related. I shed a tear (or two) watching the Biggest Loser or Army Wives or even that Peta commercial with Sarah McLachlan & the abandoned dogs. I get teary eyed when people tell me about their sad situations or about losing a pet. I get all weepy when loved ones give hugs & kisses to my patient right before their procedure - especially the elderly. Some might be embarrassed by this kind of sensitivity but not me. To feel moved or touched by something & to feel compassion is to feel alive & I welcome the feeling.

30 Truths - Day 1

The 30 Day Truth Challenge...

I saw this done on another blog that I follow & thought it might be kind of fun to jump on the bandwagon & join in. Plus I have been slacking on things to blog about lately so this will give me something to write about & hopefully not bore my readers :)

This blog challenge lasts for 30 days where each day you answer a question that coincides with a master list for the 30 Days Of Truth. Some of these "truths" are pretty deep & personal so it will be interesting to see how I respond.

It doesn't matter what date you start so when you are ready, come play along & learn a little something about yourself in the process. Since it's the 1st of October, might as well start the first "truth" today!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Wow - nothing like starting out on a positive note!? Unfortunately, too many of us would be quick to list all the things they hate about themselves & when given a minute to think about it one thing quickly comes to mind.

I hate that I am a HUGE procrastinator. I have a mental calendar in my head (as well as the physical one in my purse) that I keep track of all that needs to be done with life, with work, with the house, with friends. I always think I have a few days left or a few hours left & then I panic when I realize I have run out of time or days.

I am forever cutting it close when it comes to being on time to work, to outings with friends/family, to the airport, to wherever. God forbid I get out of bed 15 minutes sooner or jump in the shower 30 minutes earlier. I am never late to work (which is actually a huge pet peeve of mine) but would create alot less stress on my morning drive if I would just leave the house 10 minutes earlier!

I have a list of projects around the house that needs to be done & every weekend goes by without doing any of them. I have craft projects that I buy with every intention of starting & finishing & they will sit in the bag for months untouched. It is a bad trait I have & am trying to work on it.

Now if we wanted to talk about the physical "hates" I could go on & on but then you would get bored so I will make it short. I hate my naturally curly hair - most days - & spend a lot of money trying to straighten it! I hate my feet but at least my toes always look good so they are a good distraction from my ugly, bony feet. I hate the fat roll that has appeared in my middle section as well as the pooch I am sporting. Took me awhile to figure out that is wasn't there because I was bloated ;) I know I could do something about it that required me going to the gym that I pay every month for but incase you weren't paying attention earlier - I am a procrastinator!

So those are a few things about myself that I hate. I am very well aware of them all & know I have the power to change most of them. I just need to take that first step. Maybe I will start next week?!? :)