3-21

Today is 3-21. It is a special date that was chosen as World Down Syndrome Day for its symbolism. The numbers 3 & 21 represent the third copy of chromosome 21 present in Trisomy 21 which is the most common form of Down syndrome.

Today we celebrate all those who are blessed with an extra copy of the 21st chromosome - especially my beautiful niece Dana Jo:

I invite you to help me raise awareness, provide support & recognition of the dignity, rights & well-being of people with Down syndrome across the world as well as their abilities & achievements.

There is so much that we can do as a society to ensure people with Down syndrome have the opportunity to enhance their quality of life, realize their life aspirations & become valued members of welcoming communities.

Remember that ALL life is worthy of dignity & love. 

Happy World Down Syndrome Day - celebrate life!!

Miss Ava's 1st Birthday

So I have a very dear friend in my life named Jen & she has a very special little girl named Ava - you may remember me writing a post about these two last year? Well Miss Ava just so happened to have her 1st birthday party this past weekend & it was amazing.

The birthday girl & her beautiful Mama Jen

The theme was Lil' Cupcake & Jen did an amazing job at putting this little celebration together. All the little details that us mommies worry about were absolutely perfect & the afternoon was a super fun time. 

All of Jen & Miss Ava's family & closest friends were present for the festivities & Ava looked adorable in her 1st birthday outfit. She seemed to have a super fun time opening all the presents & smashing into her cake.

Mase seemed to have a good time also hanging with all the little ladies & especially loved this chair. Such a typical boy choosing to hang out in the recliner...even if it was pink :)

Jen did such an amazing job putting Ava's party all together! It is a shame not to show you all so I thought I would share with you some pics of her amazing party "details":

Birthday sign at the front door

Cake table

Yummy cupcakes & Ava's smash cake

Favor bags

Monthly pics of Ava's 1st year

There was even a bouncy house in the garage for the little's  :)

And the moment that is the best at any 1st birthday party - the smashing of the cake! This was definitely a birthday throne fit for a little "princess":

And last but not least, a pic of the Mama's & their babies:

 

Ugh - these two little cuties are getting so big!! Here is a pic of them together exactly one year ago this week:

Happy Birthday Miss Ava - we are looking so forward to watching you grow through the years & making lots of fun memories with you!! 

A Child Changes Things

Every now & then I will take a moment to use this blog to talk about something serious going on in my life in the hopes that talking about it may possibly help someone else. Because let's face it, as much as I would like you all to believe, my life is not all hearts, flowers & pink sparkles.

So I'm going to get serious for a second & throw this out there - a child changes things in your life you never thought possible.

It is a saying I have heard a hundred times - a child changes things. Until you’ve actually had a child enter into the relationship with your other half of the parenting team, one would have very little idea what that actually means. Take my word for it....things have changed.

I was driving to work the other day & took a moment to pray for my relationship with my husband which lately is having its fair share of "downs" due to everyday life & stressors. Mid-prayer this song came on K-Love & it was one I have heard many times before but have never truly listened to the words. As I listened to the song word for word I felt like the artist was singing that song about us:

God's timing is amazing.



So after I hear this song I start wondering how could we "restore" our marriage - the one relationship that created this amazing little blessing to begin with & still manage to be good parents? Some days it often feels like an impossible balancing act. Some days we fail miserably. But we always brush ourselves off & face a new day....together.

Two months ago Mason turned one. It was a big milestone for him but I felt like it was an even bigger milestone for us.While Mase got to smash his cake & tear into all his generous presents, my husband & I secretly celebrated the fact that we made it through the first year of parenthood - still together & still in love with each other. But also there was a little part of me that had longed for those days together when life seemed so much simpler. Our relationship seemed easy & not strained. Time didn't seem to go so quickly.

If you’ve ever raised a child getting through that first year is a big deal. I don’t care how many parents you talk to who offer their many words of wisdom, there is just no way to prepare for it. You will get all kinds of advice - wanted or not - but seriously until you have lived it you have no way of knowing what to expect. Your relationship with your spouse will change, as will your priorities, & the first year can set a tone for your relationship that lasts – or, sadly, doesn’t last. 

This past year I have learned that a relationship with your spouse is not something you can just put on the "back burner" & hope you come out of it alright once your child leaves the nest. It is something that constantly needs nurturing & attention in order for it to survive & sadly your spouse becomes on the bottom of the list of things that need your attention.

I have been witness to two marriages now of two very dear friends who mean the world to me that have fallen apart shortly after the baby came & it just makes me so very sad. It makes me look at my own relationship with my husband & the fear is always there that we too could fall into that "trap" because it happens all to easily as I have personally seen it.

Even though we have been parents for over a year now,  this parenting gig is still fairly new to us. During that time we have faced lots of challenges as "mommy & daddy" as well as "husband & wife" but so far through it all we have made it through the other side of things & better for having gone through it. Along the way we managed to commit ourselves to a few "rules" to follow & I truly believe it has made all the difference - for us anyway.

So I thought I might share with you a few things we try to follow as reading about it just might help a relationship or two - especially if you are living in that 1st year with a child! Now I am in no way a counselor or therapist & sometimes I have been told I can be full of sh!t but the great thing about this blog is sharing experiences & others learning from them. If I have helped even one person along the way then to me it is worth it putting this all out there.

So - rule #1: “Me Time” is very important. 

And by very important, I mean of the utmost importance. My husband has always known how very important my girl-time is to me & I know how very important his "guy" time is to him. Lucky for me he has been amazing by never taking this little pleasure away from me - even post-Mason. It is something I look forward to now more than ever since I have become a Mommy because let's face it - every now & then this Mommy needs a much deserved break!

Most of your first few years of parenthood will be spent giving your child undivided attention to make sure he doesn’t choke on an object that shouldn't be in his mouth in the first place or electrocute himself or try to feed the dog torn pages from the new book you just bought him. And while you’re doing that, dishes are piling up in the sink, your living room floor is constantly covered with razor-sharp, foot-gouging toys, the laundry pile is no longer a pile but a mountain, you realize the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in 2 weeks & you are slowly slipping into sleep-deprived delirium because after a year your child STILL isn't sleeping through the night.

*side note - I am happy to report after CIO attempt #2 last month Mason has been sleeping from 7:30pm-6:30am without making a peep the entire night! I have had so much glorious sleep these past 3 weeks that I'm not quite sure how to act!?!

It’s a never-ending battle & one that usually ends with you lying face down on the floor on a Friday night at 8pm after picking up previously mentioned razor sharp, foot-gouging toys for the third time & this after working all day, picking the baby up from daycare, feeding said baby, having family-time for an hour, giving said baby a bath, getting baby ready for bed, rocking said baby to sleep & then doing the dishes from supper.

This is now my life & oddly enough I love every minute of it. But as a parent who works as hard as I do, I sometimes deserve a break. So embrace your “Me Time,” & don’t for one second feel guilty about it. 

For at least one hour a week, watch that guilty-pleasure reality show you know is senseless but absolutely love. Read a trashy book that doesn’t make you think too hard. Read a book that does make you think hard, but one that is not about parenting. Let the laundry pile up. Have a girls-night-out. Do whatever it is you need to do to recharge your batteries or you will end up eventually losing yourself if you don’t take a break.

Rule #2: You & Spouse versus baby. Not you & baby versus your spouse. Day to day stress can be the #1 enemy of parents & it’s very easy to let it take hold of you. I know when I am stressed I end up saying things to my spouse that is usually taken out of context & can sound like blame. Unfortunately my spouse gets the majority of my stress & frustration because he is the person I spend the most time with & he's the easiest & most readily available target. If you can try to resist that temptation of blaming with your words that is half the battle.

My hubby & seem to have the most success NOT when we blame the other for whatever the situation is but instead look at the situation & try to make a joke of it. Laughing together in stressful situations is always better than screaming at each other - which is also a good lesson to teach Mason.

Rule #3: Don’t keep score. Parenting isn’t the Super Bowl - although at times it can feel like it. You don’t get points for doing the most dishes, changing the most diapers, or making the most middle of the night wake-up calls so try not to brag about it. You & your spouse should be a team, each one of you with roles that are hopefully divided evenly - although it may not seem that way at any given minute.

Speaking from my own experience, the fastest way to turn a disagreement into a full-blown argument is to tell your spouse in that all too familiar snarky attitude, “Maybe YOU should change one of his diapers for once,” or “How come I’m always the one that gets up in the middle of the night with him?” Chances are if you feel like you’re carrying all the weight in one area, your spouse is carrying it in another. All the back-and-forth's “I do this ALL THE TIME” and “Oh yeah, well all last week I did THIS” can spark a fight faster than anything. Instead of focusing on who’s done what or what isn't getting done, try to keep in mind that you’re both on the same team & it doesn't hurt to ask for help - which I am guilty of not doing.

Rule #4: Pick your battles. This would be one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received & it was from my mother. This pretty much sums it up:

Rule #5: Go to church together. Ever since we got married we have been trying to find a church to call ours. It has been easier said than done being a born & raised Catholic who got married to a born & raised Baptist who were married in a Methodist church. We have attended different denomination's & just haven't found the right fit & honestly we both got tired trying to test out churches so we basically gave up & stopped going.

Now that Mason is part of our family, I want him to be raised in a church community complete with a bible school & strong youth group so we have been looking for that right fit yet again. His daycare is run by a great group of ladies who all attend the same church & they often will display posters of upcoming events put on by their church for families to take part in. 

We attended the Halloween party last October which was so much fun & this past Sunday we attended the Spaghetti Supper fundraiser for the youth group to be able to go to church camp this summer. The spaghetti dinner was a huge turnout with so many familiar faces & they made us feel so welcome. So this Sunday we are attending service there for the 1st time & I have a feeling this will be the church we call "ours". Never have I been so excited to go to church! I am looking SO forward to getting back into it, going together as a family & finally belonging to a church community. I have heard many, many times that something as simple as going to church together can improve the quality of your Christian marriage so it is a win, win!

Oh & guess who is going to be watching the babies in the nursery on Sunday? Our babysitter Miss Katie - YAY :)

So there you have it - words of wisdom by HT that I have learned in the past year. A child does change things but it shouldn't change things for the worst. It is up to you & your spouse to keep that spark alive, to be a team & help each other out, to not fight about the small stuff because in reality...it is all small stuff.

Hearts, kisses & pink glitter,
HT :)

Thirsty Pallette

Tonight it was my turn to host our monthly "game night" festivities! We have had a busy couple months with Shane's dad passing, finishing our basement, life with a one year old & no time to deep clean my house for guests so I was trying to think of something fun the group could do outside of our home.
 
A co-worker of mine had recently had a ladies night out at the Thirsty Palette & raved about how much fun it was so I sent out an email to see if any of the ladies would be interested in doing a game-night "field trip" & luckily all of them were willing to give it a try.

If you have never heard of it, the Thirsty Palette is a cute little place where you can gather to paint your very own masterpiece to take home. Every night they have a featured painting & have an artist there who will demonstrate to the group stroke by stroke how to paint a near identical version of it. While you are painting away, you can enjoy the girl-time, the fun loud music & a glass of wine or beer from their fully stocked bar.

All the girls met at Houlihan's for happy hour & the place was jam packed. They have great special's on app's & cocktails from 4-6pm so we sampled many of their different app's, sipped on a cocktail & enjoyed catching up with one another.

We then headed over to the Thirsty Palette, grabbed a glass of wine & got our "paint on"!

The girls concentrating on painting a perfect picture:

We are half-way there to the finished project:

Jilly & I taking a little break to pose for the camera:

And here are all the girls with their awesome paintings:

Here is a side by side comparison of the picture featured on the website & my version of it on the right:

What?? I could seriously be the next Vincent van Gogh don't you think???

LOL - ok maybe not. My buildings look nothing like the original & my moon resembles Pac Man but hey, we all had a fabulous time & the group agreed to definitely do this "field trip" again!

40 Bags in 40 Days

Today is Ash Wednesday which marks the start of the Lenten season & will officially end in 40 days on April 17th. 

The Lenten season is seen as a time to give up something pleasurable – which could be anything from chocolate to habits like swearing or procrastinating. So for the past week I have been pondering what I might "give up" during that time. 

This past Tuesday my sister posted this on Facebook: 

As I read further into it I thought "what a clever idea"! You are abiding by the Lent rules by "giving something up" as well as decluttering your house & simplifying your life! It's a Win Win :)

With the hopes of getting our house ready to put on the market in the near future, we need to do some serious down-sizing of our "stuff" - especially my husband's "stuff". He has become a bit of a "pack-rat" ever since I have known him. As I look around our home there isn't a drawer or closet or room that couldn't use a little tidying up & decluttering.

So how does it work? This challenge is a forty day period in the spring (coinciding with the 40 days of Lent) where you focus on cleaning one area per day. It could be a room, a closet, a drawer, the basement, the garage - whatever area you want it to be. In this one area you challenge yourself to declutter, simplify, decrapify, & to get rid of things you don’t need. The goal is one bag a day but it is ok if you have more or less. 

What kind of bag do you use? It can be any kind - small or large! Lawn-sized garbage bags, boxes, grocery bags, tall kitchen bags, ziplock bags. Try not to get hung up on the "size" of the bag. Instead focus on that one spot per day & get it clean. Try not to get all crazy & take on four or five different spots because you want to prove something & please don’t get all bummed out because you missed a day - or two. Just focus on one. spot. per.day.

What do you do with all the bags? Whatever you want but the goal is to get it OUT of the house. Your stuff can just be organized, or donated, given to a family member or friend, go in a garage sale pile (but make sure to have that garage sale), make a little money by putting it on Craigslist to sell, or it could simply just go into the garbage. The goal is to get it out of your house!!

You can click here if you need some ideas of what areas to declutter! As I said earlier I know our house has TONS of areas we can clean up & simplify & I am challenging you all to do the same.

If you go to this website, it will also give you some great ideas of "non-stuff" things to organize & declutter also.

So who is with me on this? I will try & take some before/after pics as I tackle on certain areas to validate my actions.

Let the decrapifying begin!!