What NOT to say...

Today was my first day back to work since the whole ordeal last week and I was never so happy to be punching out at 4:30pm this afternoon. I knew it was going to be tough to face everyone's comments and questions today but I don't think I was really prepared for what the day had in store for me...or maybe it's the fact that my hormones are so out of whack making me an emotional mess!?! :) The first two people that I saw hugged me and I immediately burst into tears. It seemed to get easier as the hours passed me by until I ran into those that didn't know what had happened. As soon as they said "how's the mama feeling?" I knew it was going to be yet another tough conversation.

As the day progressed, I was given alot of advice and many comments were said. I kept a list of all things that were either insensitive or hurtful - not on purpose of course - but should have required some thought before being said. In my opinion, here are the top 5 things of what NOT to say to someone who has suffered a miscarriage:

1) Miscarriage is so common. It will be ok the next time! ...and you know this for a fact how? Thanks, I feel so much better.

2) So are you going to "try" again? um yeah, just as soon as I quit bleeding from my D&C!

3) At least you weren't too far along when you lost "it"! I guess having a miscarriage at 7 weeks is easier than at 12 weeks?

4) You are still young - you can always try for another! last time I checked I was considered Advanced Maternal Age...I'm not as young as you think!

5) At least you know now you can get pregnant! yeah...this somehow makes me feel so much better

Please take some advice from someone who has been there. If you aren't quite sure what to say to someone who has had a miscarriage, please don't say any of the above. Instead, how about just saying "I'm sorry!" and just leave it at that. It might seem generic to you, but trust me, it's the most appropriate and non-hurtful thing you can say to someone who is grieving over their loss.