Grieving

Well it has been a week since we lost Bubba & my heart still hurts something awful :( Yesterday the ER vet hospital called saying his ashes were ready to be picked up. I went after work to get him & in a strange way it made me feel better knowing he was back home with us where he belonged.

I have ordered a super nice urn with his name on it & am waiting for that to be delivered hopefully next week.

The night we lost him, I drove home & Shane & I stayed up until 1am crying, sharing funny stories of Bentley, looking at pictures of him & desperately missing him. We finally fell asleep & I ended up taking that next day off of work because I just wasn't in any shape to be there. I took Mase to daycare, went back home & spent the day loving on Millie, crying my eyes out, grieving with Shane & missing our sweet boy.

Getting through this week without him has been a bit rough. Everywhere I look I expect him to be laying there, under my feet, pawing at me from my side of the bed. Ugh - it is so very sad. Millie has been looking all over the house for Bentley which has been absolutely heartbreaking. She isn't eating, is clearly depressed & has been laying in the spot Bentley used to sleep which she has never done.

Mason keeps asking a hundred questions "where did Bubba go? when is he coming back? why did he die? where is he? why did he go to doggie heaven? can I go see him?" The questions just never stop & it is SO hard to explain it to a 3 year old who doesn't get it. It is like reliving the horrible incident over & over again every single day. He gets upset when he sees me cry & just doesn't understand any of it. Honestly I think that has been the most difficult in all of this. We went to the book store & bought a couple of books about doggie heaven which are on a level he can somewhat understand so reading those to him have helped. I am hoping that with each day that passes it will get easier.

These beautiful flowers showed up the day after from my amazing "Mama Tribe" which helped brighten my day! They are still just as gorgeous a week later.

Now I know some of you reading this are thinking "it is just a dog - for gosh sake get over it already" but for those of you who have lost a furry member of your family I know you get it.

Bentley was with us for 11 1/2 years & to us he was as much a member of our family as Mason is. He is going to be so desperately missed & even though losing him has been heartbreaking, I wouldn't trade a minute or a day of the time we had with him.

RIP Bubba

I knew this day would come but nothing could prepare me for the grief & heartbreak I would feel.



Last night we had to unexpectedly say goodbye to our sweet boy Bentley.

It was a typical night in the Taylor house. I had given Mase a bath, got our PJ's on & let the dogs out one last time to potty before bed. As Bentley came back in I noticed his belly was huge & distended. Once he got back into the house he started slobbering excessively & vomiting but nothing was coming up. I had a sick feeling what was going on with him but quickly checked Google to make sure & sadly I was right :(

Bentley had a condition called "bloat" or gastric torsion. When bloat occurs, the dog’s stomach fills with air & the enlarged stomach puts pressure on other organs . It causes difficulty breathing & eventually decreases blood supply to vital organs. It is painful & death occurs within a couple of hours if not treated. This is the same condition the dog in Marley & Me died from as well as my friend's Mastiff so I was familiar with what it was.

I told Shane I needed to get Bentley to the emergency vet as soon as possible & that this may be the last time he & Mason sees him. At the time Shane didn't understand how serious of a condition this was & thought I was being over-dramatic but I pushed for the both of them to say their "goodbyes" just incase. Mason had no idea what was happening & we just told him that Bubba was really sick, Mommy was taking him to the doggie doctor & he may not be coming home.

It was about a 25 minute drive to the nearest ER Vet facility & I had called them while I was on my way to let them know I would be arriving. As soon as I got there, 3 people came out the door with a stretcher, got Bentley out of the car & wheeled him into the building. As he was being looked at by the vet I filled out all the paperwork & just sat there praying.

10 minutes later they took me back to a room & the vet came to talk to me. I knew just by the look on her face. She explained to me that he did have bloat & her recommendation was to euthanize him. I pretty much lost it at this point & couldn't really hear the rest of what she said. I did hear that he probably wouldn't survive surgery with his age & heart condition & that if we did do surgery it would be costly & the gastric torsion usually comes back. Sadly, there was no other choice.

I called Shane & tried to explain to him what the vet said & we both decided the best & most humane thing to do was to have him put to sleep. Shane felt absolutely awful for not being there but Mason was sound asleep & to wake him up, drag him to the vet to watch his dog be put down wasn't an option so they stayed home.

They had relieved some of the air out of Bubba's belly & gave him some Morphine to help make him more comfortable & after they brought him back to me I got to sit with him for as long as I wanted. I loved on him, petted him, rubbed his ears, smooched his flaps, talked to him & thanked him for being the most amazing dog to us these past 11 1/2 years. I sat there for the longest time just hugging him & he just let me.

After about 20 minutes I was as ready as I could be & the vet came in with those 2 syringes that would take away all his pain & suffering. It took seconds & then he was gone. I was amazed at how fast he went which made me feel like he was ready to go.



This sweet boy blessed our lives for over 11 years & filled it full of unconditional love, loyal company, big slobbery kisses, loud snoring & gas bombs that would clear a room - typical Bulldog. He was our favorite hello, our saddest goodbye & he will be forever missed.

RIP our sweet boy - until we meet again...

4th of July

Sadly my sister & her family headed back home to Wisconsin today :( They were supposed to stay until tomorrow but they had just moved into a new house last week & wanted to have at least a day to start unpacking before the work week started.

So it was me & my brothers left to run the fireworks show for the evening. All three of us had bought a bunch of fireworks earlier in the day so we were all excited to shoot them off once the sun started going down.

We all ate leftovers from the anniversary party the night before & then headed out to shoot some bottle rockets, smoke bombs, snakes & the group favorite - the Naughty Dog :)

Mason really liked the little cars that sped off when lit & then blew up. Daddy of course was there to help & supervise:

 Smoke bombs were another hit with the littles:

The bigger kids shot off the "older kid" fireworks with my brother....mostly bottle rockets, showering cones & roman candles:

 

My other brother Steve helped Mase light fireworks also:

The adults just sat back in our lawn chairs with our beers watching the show & making sure the kids didn't burn themselves! It was an awesome evening spent with my family & we talked about how we should make the July 4th holiday an annual event at the farm - just like we did when we were kids.

Sadly tomorrow we all head back :( Not looking forward to the 7 hour drive home but am thankful to have made the trip & the time spent with my family!

Hope you all had a safe & wonderful 4th of July spent with your loved ones!

40 years

This past January my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary! What a huge accomplishment for them or any married couple these days! To help them celebrate, my parents are throwing a huge anniversary party this weekend & have invited all the family & their closest friends to join in the celebration.

Friday - Day One
So today we made our way north to South Dakota to spend the weekend with my family. Mase was a trooper on the road trip & passed the time playing games, coloring, singing songs, watching movies & taking a good nap! 7 hours on the road & we had finally made our way to the farm.



We spent the rest of the evening catching up with my family & visiting with friends & family that we hadn't seen in years!

We had decided to stay at a local hotel nearby since the vacancy at my parents house was reaching capacity! It actually worked out better to have a quiet place to retreat to at the end of the day & not have to share a bathroom with a bunch of people. I love staying at my parents but with us 4 siblings, spouses & all the grandchildren together it does get a bit crowded & chaotic! So we headed to the hotel early to get checked-in & ended up hitting the bed early as well as we were super tired from the long day of traveling.

Saturday - Day 2
We woke up this morning & had a lazy start to the day. I headed over to the lodge to help my Mom set up for the party later this evening while Mase & Shane hung out at the hotel & then later met me at my parents farm.

The lodge where my parents hosted the party at was an amazing place with lots of room & perfect for entertaining. My Mom had hired someone to set-up, decorate & cater the food for the event & she did an awesome job! My Mom was super pleased with how everything turned out & I too was impressed! Here are a few of the "details" around the place:

 Entrance into the building - minus the fresh flowers that were displayed

Photo table of my parents wedding, children & grandchildren 

What my parents wore on their wedding day 

Beautiful table centerpieces

 4 different kinds of cupcakes for dessert

 

Beer, soda & free koozies for everyone

 

Before the party got started, my entire immediate family gathered together for family pictures. It turned out to be a gorgeous afternoon & despite being a bit breezy outside our dear family friend & photographer managed to get some great pics.

 

Mase had fallen asleep on our way over to the lodge & I hated to wake him up but we had to get the pictures taken before everyone started arriving. What a huge mistake that was!!! He was a grizzly bear & threw a full on fit during the pics! He refused to look at the camera, cooperate or smile for our big family photo & refused to stop crying for our family picture:

He was SO fussy & grumpy & at one point he asked to go back to the car so he could go back to sleep so that is what we did:

Doesn't look very comfortable does it?

 

Shane sat outside with some of my family & kept an eye on him while he slept & I wandered around visiting with guests who were arriving. Mase eventually woke up, was in better spirits & we were finally able to get a decent family picture - windblown hair & all :)

 

After all the guests arrived, everyone was seated & we were served a catered meal of hamburgers, brats & lots of yummy sides. Once everyone ate my mom stood up, thanked everyone for coming to help celebrate such a wonderful milestone, gave a little speech & then introduced their children, spouses & grandchildren to the crowd.



My Dad, Mom & their matron of honor at the head table

 

After all the introductions were over, the DJ started up the music, took requests from the crowd & there was dancing & lots of fun had by all!

 

Then if the DJ wasn't enough, at dusk everyone headed outside for the surprise fireworks display: 



At this point in the evening my little guy was sound asleep. He hardly ate anything for supper & he just wanted to be held. As I was holding him he felt super hot so I instantly knew he was running a fever. It would explain why he was such a grizzly bear earlier in the day, why he was so grumpy, why he was so clingy & hardly ate. Poor little guy was sick :( I pretty much held him & sat on the couch the entire evening so I wasn't able to wander around mingling very much. I felt like I should go back to the hotel with him but then I felt bad about leaving my parents party also.

So once the fireworks show was over we said goodbye to everyone & headed back to the hotel. Turns out Mase had a 101 fever. Ugh - I felt so bad for him. Luckily I had brought the Motrin, Tylenol & thermometer with us so I dosed him with Motrin & put him to bed.

 

He woke up the next morning & sadly still had a fever of 101 but had no other symptoms which was so weird. No upset tummy, no sore throat, no congestion....just a fever! All his cousins were coming over to swim in the hotel pool later in the morning & he was so upset he wouldn't be able to swim with them. I told him if he felt better in a few hours he could swim & was thinking perhaps the cool water would help break his fever?

 

By the time everyone came over his fever was down to 99 & he was feeling much better so he was able to swim. All the cousins had a ball in the pool & Jacuzzi together:

The kids swam for a couple of hours & then we all parted ways & got ready for the day. We then headed over to my parents farm & let the kids run around & play together for awhile. Mason's fever was still around 99 degrees but he seemed to be feeling better so we kept on going about our day.

 

Later in the afternoon us three headed downtown to show Mason the World's Only Corn Palace, walk around a bit & get some ice cream. 

It was a fun afternoon together & I was so glad Mason's fever had broke & that he was feeling much better!

 

On our way back to my parents farm we had stopped to get a bunch of fireworks (as did my siblings) to set off later in the evening. Mase had so much fun picking out his fireworks & couldn't wait to light the "Naughty Dog" & the "Pooping Pig" :)

to be continued..... 









Cell Phone Dump

Cell phone dump for the month of June :)

 

The window at Daycare where we wave our goodbyes! Oh & it was Superhero Day :)

Look who got a new bike - Spiderman, of course! 

Looked out the front window one morning & saw these two beautiful animals in the front yard! Now I know where all the bird seed has been going! 

Took the afternoon off for a little pool-time & a cocktail! 

Who got a hair-cut??? This cutie pie :) 

Who knew watching movies inside forts would be so much fun?  

 Fun with co-workers & the Snapchat app!

Taking a stroll around the neighborhood in his truck!

Sick Bubba :(

Bentley (aka: Bubba) is 11 years old now & lately has definitely been showing his age :( He has been slowing way down, has trouble going down the stairs to potty & has been passing out for no reason for the last couple of months. It is pretty scary when he passes out but will usually come to after a long, scary couple of minutes.

It has started to happen more frequently so I decided it was time to make an appointment for him to see the doggie Cardiologist.

Waiting to see the heart vet :)

 

We went to Blue Pearl Vet Specialists (who are amazing by the way) & the vet tech went over everything they were going to do to Bubba to assess his heart & overall health which was an EKG & an Echocardiogram. He was back there for about 30 minutes & then the Cardiologist talked with me about his results.

 

Turns out that Bubba has been passing out due to an irregular heart rhythm called ventricular tachycardia. While he was hooked up to the heart monitor the Dr. said he was in & out of this rhythm quite frequently & definitely explains why he would pass out. Then she told me the Echocardiogram showed he had a cardiomyopathy, right-sided heart failure & coronary artery disease which is all pretty normal for an aging 11 year old bulldogs heart. Add the irregular heart rate to it & it makes for a bad combination. He is at an extremely high risk for sudden death.

 

Luckily for Bubba there is medications he can take to help stop his fast heart rate, to help strengthen his heart muscle & increase his pumping function. And lucky me all his heart medications I can get at Target pharmacy as a generic for $4.00 each - win win!!! He will be sent home with 4 heart medications & we are to go back in a month for another EKG & see if the medications are helping.

 

In the meantime, we will continue to take good care of him, love on him as much as we can & smooch those flaps until it is time for us to say goodbye!!

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to one awesome Daddy!

This little boy already looks up to this amazing Daddy & loves to "help" him in the garage & the basement, play Hide & Seek around the house with him & spends many hours "tackling" each other. He loves to ride in Daddy's "big, black truck" & tells everyone he knows that his Daddy works at P.U.S (which is actually UPS :)

Mase made this super cute picture for him at daycare & on the back the teacher asked him several questions & this is how he responded:

1) My Dad's name is: Shane
2) How old is your Dad? 8 years old
3) What do you like to do with your Dad? play with him
4) My Dad is as strong as: the Hulk
5) What is your Dad good at? playing superheroes
6) My Dad likes to eat: yucky stuff
7) My Dad likes to drink: pop
8) What does your Dad do at work? drives the big brown truck with Jason
9) What is something you would like to tell your Dad? that he is silly

SO fun - can't wait to read these back to him when he is much older! Hoping you all had a wonderful Father's Day with the special men in your life!

Date Night

It doesn't happen as often as it should, but this evening the hubby & I had plans for a much-needed date night. I ended up taking a 1/2 day at work today so after lunch I headed to the nail salon for a pedicure & got my toes done in my favorite OPI shade...Cajun Shrimp!

Then I headed home & met my Mommy friend Sara at my pool for a couple of hours of relaxing & cocktails. It made me realize that I should be taking more of these "Heather Days" & soaking up a few hours of time to myself more often!

Awhile back I had gotten concert tickets for the "Lover's Night Out Tour" featuring R&B artists Keith Sweat, Johnny Gill & Joe. Shane & I loved listening to Joe back when we were dating so I thought it would be a fun date night to get tickets & go. I had told a few of my Mommy friends about the concert & they were interested in going as well so we all decided to make it a fun night out.

Mason ended up spending the night at our dear friend Maggie's house so we had the entire evening to whoop it up like we were college kids once again.

I got in from my relaxing afternoon at the pool, got all dressed up for the evening & made our way downtown to the Power & Light District where we met our group.

We clean up nicely :)

My Mama Tribe

 

We made our way into the Sprint center, grabbed a drink, took our seats & patiently waited for the concert to start. It was to start at 8pm & by 9pm it still hadn't started. People were starting to get upset & the crowd was booing.

 

Around 9:10pm the lights go down & the crowd goes wild. We all thought the concert was about to start & then a comedian walks out on the stage & proceeds to tell jokes for 20 minutes. RIDICULOUS!

 

We didn't think the concert was ever going to start. Around 9:45 the concert got going & the first to open was Joe. He was the main person Shane & I cared about seeing out of the 3 groups so I am glad he went first. He is still an amazing singer & sang all of our favorites!

 

After Joe played the comedian came back on again for another 20 minutes. People were starting to get pissed & boo & it was just awkward. Johnny Gill finally came on & he was just ok....nothing too exciting. After he was done here comes the comedian once again....UGH!!! Keith Sweat finally got started around 11:15pm. Half our group decided to head home & Shane & I stayed for 3 songs & bailed out of there ourselves.

 

Overall, the concert was pretty disappointing. I was glad I didn't pay a lot for the tickets & I felt bad for putting everyone through such a horrible concert. Shane kept saying to me throughout the evening "you owe me". It was just awful.

 

Oh well, it was fun to get all dressed up, go out with my man & have a date-night together despite the awful concert! We had fun hanging with the Mama Tribe & a couple of the husbands as well.





Melvern Lake

With a super busy month of May behind us, we finally got to get the RV out & spend a weekend camping! We headed down to Melvern Lake late morning which is about an hour south of where we live so not too far away. We had invited our friends Mike & Kristi along with their 3 kids to join us & they actually have a pontoon that they keep at Melvern Lake so camping & boating were on the agenda!

Once we arrived it only took a couple of hours of setting up camp. We had an awesome site with a ton of room for a tent & room for the kids to play. We hadn't been at this campsite before but as we ventured out & walked around we soon decided it was going to end up being one of our favorites in the future. 

There is a huge fishing pond separate form the lake you could fish in or kayak in, lots of park equipment, walking nature trails, big roomy sites & inexpensive to stay.

I have a sad story to share & after reading this the people of PETA may or may not come after us but honestly there wasn't anything else we could do.

We store our RV about 20 miles south of our house. Shane had gone to pick up the camper early in the morning & brought it to the house so we could load her up with our stuff. As we were loading it up Shane kept complaining that some bird had pooped all over the hitch & caused quite the mess. I didn't think anything of it & honestly just tried to tune him out.

We got going down the road & stopped at the Walmart to get some ice & a few groceries. Shane was checking to see that everything was hooked up correctly & thought he heard a bunch of birds chirping but figured they were in the tree we were parked by. Again thought nothing of it.

We get to the campsite an hour down the road, back our RV in, drop the legs, unhook it from the hitch & we discovered this:

Baby birds inside the hitch pissed off, hungry as hell & chirping at extreme decibel levels. The best part - the Mama was 60 miles away. I felt sick. Shane was upset. Mase had no idea what was going on.

We sat there for an hour googling baby birds, what to do to save them, how to feed them, how to rescue them, how long they would live without food...all the meantime they are chirping extremely loud because they are literally starving to death. It was awful.

 

So with all our research we discovered that:

1) the Mama bird feeds them every 20 minutes during the day

2) they can live 24 hours without food or water

3) you can't give them water from a dropper because they will drown

4) they eat chewed up worms only

5) our baby birds were Robins & were about 10-11 days old

6) holding wild birds in captivity is illegal

 

We both knew deep down what the end result was going to be & unfortunately we didn't want to have to listen to them chirp & die a slow death for the next 24 hours. Especially with the kiddos around.

 

After 2 hours of deliberating what to do a park engineer just so happened to be walking by so we told him our situation & asked what we should do. He offered to call the park ranger & he said he should be able to take care of them for us. About 20 minutes later he shows up with his bucket & shovel & removes the baby birds.

Mason was in the camper watching a movie so he didn't see what was going down outside & our friends hadn't arrived yet so that was good. I couldn't help but feel so sad for these little birds & especially for the Mama who was flying around trying to find her babies. It was SO upsetting & kind of put a damper on the day.

 

The park ranger was able to rescue all 6 babies & drove off with them. I like to think that he took them back to their office where other wildlife is rescued & fed, rehabilitated & raised them until they were ready to fly on their own but deep down we all know what happened to them :(

 

So after that "Debbie-downer" incident we decided to get away from our campsite  for a bit & go for a walk to take our minds off of what just happened & explore the campsite!

Ugh - RIP baby birds.

 

Mike, Kristi & the family ended up getting there around 6pm & we spent the rest of the evening setting up their tent, eating supper, making a campfire, having smores & then sent the littles into the RV to watch a movie so the big kids could hang around the campfire & have a few cocktails!

 

The kiddos went to bed around 11pm while the adults stayed up until at least 1am. We all slept in late the next morning & got a late start to the lake which was a-ok! 

 

Mike & Kristi had bought a brand new pontoon boat last year & keep it slipped at Melvern Lake. So we spent the day Saturday on the boat & had a great time. Shane & Mase even got to drive which Mase thought was super cool!

It was a beautiful day out & we had so much fun hanging with this awesome little family :) 

After we got back to the campsite, we fired up the grill & threw some brats & hotdogs on for supper. We got the kids fed first & while they played the adults got to finally eat! That evening we made more s'mores around the campfire & the kids ended up going to bed earlier than last night as did the adults. For some reason, everyone was super tired?!

Sunday morning we all slept in again, had breakfast & then Kristi & Mike started packing up & made their way home. We ended up hanging around the campsite until mid afternoon so Shane could do some maintenance on the RV.

While he was doing that, Mason & I took a walk & stopped by the lake to throw some rocks into the water. That boy would throw rocks all day if you let him!!

We headed back home around 3pm & said goodbye to Melvern Lake. This campsite & lake area was awesome & we can't wait to book another weekend here in the future!