Winter Blues / Cell Phone Dump

The month of February has been a pretty blah, uneventful month with not much happening. It has been SO cold here so we haven't been getting out of the house much. Plus I feel like everyone around us has been sick with Influenza hunkered down in their homes so we have been trying to avoid being out & about.

Luckily, our household hasn't encountered Influenza A or B but Mason did have strep right before his birthday :( We caught it pretty early so he was only down & out for a day & acting like himself within 24 hours. So thoughtful that Shane & I managed to escape getting it!

Earlier in the month on the 4th we had fun celebrating Mason's best friend Greyson's birthday at Chuck-E-Cheese. For a Sunday I was surprised that place wasn't crazy busy! Note to self - book a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese on a Sunday afternoon!

All the kiddos had a ton of fun playing games, eating pizza/cake & turning in all their game tickets in exchange for a toy - so crazy how many tickets it takes for a cheap, plastic toy or a piece of candy there!

Shane had another gig this month at The Mini-Bar in downtown KC. There were 2 other bands playing after them so they ended up having a pretty good turnout of people. They are working on several new songs right now at band practice so looking forward to hearing the new songs in the upcoming months.

That pretty much sums up our month. We went to a birthday party last weekend for one of Mason's little classmates, I have been taking lots of extra call when I am able, lots of trips to Redbox for movies & trying to stay warm. Spring is right around the corner & I am looking SO forward to some warmer temps & some green grass!!!!

Cell Phone pics from the month.....

My friend Kenzie is always surprising me with thoughtful treats & gifts when I come to work. Today it is a coffee mug just because. Love this girl!

Pizza party!! Mason & one of his besties Jarin :) Love these two!! 

Benefit of having to be at work early....watching the sun come up in the East! 

 Valentine gifts for Mason's teachers....hand sanitizer & a Walmart gift card!

School is cancelled & daycare is closed. What to do? Take little man to the movies! Peter Rabbitt = CUTE movie!

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Benefit to getting home late...watching the Kansas sunset - Beautiful!!

Cell Phone Dump

January pics from HT's cell phone....

KU game with my friend Kenzie

Slumber party at Jarin's house

 

My friend Sara showed me this cute t-shirt so I of course had to get it!

 

The new "garage" for all Mason's hot wheels :)

A little snow/ice in the KC area during rush hour & this is what the traffic accident report looked like on the way in to work! Every exclamation point is an accident!!! It took me 2 hours to get to work that day when normally it takes me 45 minutes.

Making those "sparkles" magically disappear!

 Before & after - "sparkles" no more!

I always feel like someone is watching me.....LOL

 

Asleep & stuffies in hand

 

Started out sleeping normally on a pillow under the covers & found him like this in the morning!

FIVE

Five years ago today my life changed forever. Today is the day Mason was born & I became a mother.

Shane captured this picture less than a minute after Mason was born. It is my absolute favorite picture I have from that miraculous day. There is so much raw emotion captured in this picture & when I look at it I relive that exact moment all over again.

 

After struggling with infertility for almost 7 years I never thought I would ever be given the chance to be a mother. But here I am....Mama to a 5 year old!! How is this even possible?

 

As much as I miss the sweet little baby Mase once was, I absolutely love the little boy that he is becoming! He is so thoughtful, smart, loving, funny, sweet & oh so full of sass - just like his Mama :)

He is becoming this little person who is full of questions, thoughts, funny answers & tons of personality. He has somehow turned 5 years old in a blink of an eye & this is one milestone this Mama is having a tough time with :( 

He is no longer a baby, but not yet a "big kid". He'll be starting kindergarten this fall & maybe that is why he seems so big!? He is becoming more & more independent each day & a little piece of my heart dies every time he tries to prove to me (& himself) that he can do things without anyone's help. Ugh - can time just slow down a little?

 

Today we are celebrating this amazing day by having a birthday party for him with all his friends. He wanted a Ninja Turtle party & so that is the kind of party he got!

We ended up having his party at 360 Gymnastics which is an awesome place to have a birthday party. It is not expensive, large party rooms that can handle a ton of kids, wears them out & they have TONS of fun!

 



We got there a bit early, decorated the party room & got everything set up.

 

The party table was decked out with Ninja Turtle coloring pages, crayons & party masks for all the kiddos.

Since the party was being held later in the afternoon we decided to not serve food & just have cake & ice cream. The cake was made by a lady who goes to my church & she did an amazing job! Mason absolutely LOVED his Leonardo cake! It was a white cake so I ended up making chocolate cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream frosting for a little variety! They too were a hit with the party-goers!

The party started out downstairs in the gymnastics room where the kids were able to play, jump & run for an hour! There was a private instructor there who helped the kiddos do gymnastics & kept them in line when they got a bit too rough!

 

Those kiddos were all over the place having SO much fun & burning off tons of energy! I managed to get a few of them to stop for a hot second so I could get a few pictures....

The last 10 minutes of gym time the instructor got out a huge parachute where the kids (& some adults) all grabbed an end & had a ton of fun making a tent with it!

And then the birthday boy got to sit in the center of the parachute where everyone sang Happy Birthday to him! He was grinning from ear to ear :)

Afterwards we all headed upstairs to the party room for cake & ice cream. We had Mason blow out his candles while everyone sang Happy Birthday & then I cut the cake while my adult "helpers" handed out the juice & ice cream.

The kiddos all colored while patiently waiting for cake/ice cream so I was glad I had thought of that idea.....thank you Pinterest!

After the kiddos stuffed themselves full of cake & ice cream the party started to wind down & it was time to leave. Mason handed out everyone's party favors to them, hugged them & thanked them for coming to his party - so sweet! Everyone seemed to have so much fun & some of the kids even told him it was the best birthday party they have ever been to :)

For the party favors I ended up buying Mini-Murph pepperoni pizzas from Papa Murphy's & printed a fun little adhesive to stick on the pizza box. They turned out super cute & an awesome idea since the Ninja Turtles LOVE pepperoni pizza!



Once everything was cleaned up we all headed back to the house to open birthday gifts & eat pizza! The Mama's & kiddos from my Mama Tribe also joined us back at the house. Mason had so much fun opening all his gifts & he & the kiddos all played with his new toys after they were all open.

 

After Mason finished opening all his gifts, the kiddos made their pepperoni pizzas from the party & I put them in the oven to bake while they went & played. While we were waiting for their pizzas to bake I opened up a bottle of wine for the adults, ordered a large pizza to be delivered & whipped up a garden salad for us to eat. It ended up being a perfect ending to a perfect afternoon spent with close friends celebrating our birthday boy!

Happy Birthday to our little Mase Man! Mommy & Daddy are looking SO forward to what FIVE has in store for you!!!

Party Details: for those who are interested
Invitations: Etsy - TimmyCatShop
Party t-shirt: Etsy - RissasRagstoStitches
Cake: local private baker
Cupcake Toppers: Etsy: partycupcake
Pizza box labels: Etsy: LizzyCakeDesigns
Ninja Turtle decorations: Party City & Walmart
NT coloring page: Pinterest


Reason, Season & Lifetime Friends

There is a very famous poem written by an anonymous writer who explains that different people come into our lives to serve different purposes. Most of you have seen or heard of that poem but what does it mean? 

People who come into your life for a REASON because you needed to learn an important lesson in some way or another. They serve a purpose or fulfill a need & then their work is done & they are gone. People who come into your life for a SEASON are meant to help shape your personality & individuality into what it is today. These people may teach you something & usually bring you much joy. Then like seasons change the friendship also changes & they are gone. People who come into your life for a LIFETIME are keepers. These people are here to stay in your life for a very, very long time. These are the people who teach you life lessons. Friends you love dearly. Friends that you may not see in forever but when you finally do see them it is like no time has passed. 

We have all had these 3 kinds of people encounter our lives but I really didn't fully experience what this poem actually meant until after I had a child.

Those of you who know me know how much I value my "girl-time". It is an important part of who I am & thank God my husband gets that! 

Throughout my life, I have been so very blessed by several different "types" of girlfriends. I have had a lot of good friends in my life that I have met along the way - the REASON friends. Then there are my "work" friends, the SC girlfriends & the "game night" friends who were SEASON friends. Then there are my super close girlfriends - my ride or die kinda friends - my LIFETIME friends. After Mason was born, slowly a lot of those "season" friends started to disappear one by one as well as the friendships. Especially the ones with friends who didn't have children.

I remember a very specific dinner I had with the game night girls that I like to refer to as "the last supper". 

I call it this because sadly it would be the very last time I saw or talked to the majority of these girls. That was when this whole poem came into play for me & I experienced what a SEASON type of friendship was.

Mason was 2 years old & the group was getting together for dinner like they often do. I had not been able to meet up with them in quite some time because when you work full time & have a small child it is just not an easy task. It turned out it was a night that I was able to go but only if I brought Mase. I debated back & forth whether I should go or not & even called my bestie Jill to get her thoughts. She told me no one would mind that I brought Mase & I should go - so I did.

When I walked in I could sense immediately the disapproval from at least 4 out of the 7 girls. It was awkward & uncomfortable to say the least from the time I sat down with Mase to the time I left. Out of all the girls, only a few of them asked me how I was, how Mase was or what I have been up to. It felt like I didn't exist to those at the other end of the table. 

After we all ate, Mase started to get fussy so as to not make anyone feel uncomfortable, I left. I walked out of there with my feelings hurt & not really understanding what just happened. Later that evening I called Jill who was also there & asked her if I was imagining things or if that dinner seemed weird. She agreed it felt awkward which made me feel like it wasn't just me & sadly that was the last time I saw or talked to the majority of those girls.

I have been told numerous times that life changes when you have a baby & it definitely does but what they don't tell you is that your friendships will also change. Through my life friends have come & gone & the losses all hurt in some way or another but the most hurtful time I have lost friends was after I became a mother. I have gotten a lot of advice as a mother but no one prepared me with that little tidbit - especially losing friendships with women friends who don't have children yet. That couldn't be more true & that last supper proved it.

So what changed? What happened to me & why did I feel like I was losing friends left & right? There were many nights I sat rocking Mason pondering that question. Then it came to me. I had a baby. That's what changed. A lot of my friends didn't have children yet so they couldn't relate. 

I had a baby who wouldn't sleep. A baby who had extreme reflux & was always fussy. A baby who would sleep all day & be awake all night. I was slipping into a depression & felt an overwhelming feeling of anxiety daily. My former life, complete with friends, ideas, goals & fun times had slipped away from me. My extreme exhaustion & lack of sleep meant that I wasn't the best mother I could be. Or the best wife. Or the best friend. And so I assume my friends didn't want to deal with this "new" me or didn't know how to deal with this new me so slowly we became distant.

It's not that I didn't care about my friends anymore because I absolutely did. In fact I needed those relationships in my life more than ever just to feel a sense of normal. But I couldn't figure out how to fit them into a new life that revolved around nap schedules, feeding schedules, play-dates, a full time job & all my other domestic duties.

It's a proven fact that friendships without time investment wither & die & sadly that's exactly what happened to my friendships once Mason was born. I had less & less in common with friends from my former "pre-Mason" life. They were in a totally different place in life than I was. They didn't understand what it was like to wake up 5 times in a night or get up at 4 am with the baby everyday for a year & a half & still continue to work full time & be on call at night for the hospital. My only priorities were about my family, making sure I could function on a day-to-day basis, keeping my son alive, trying my hardest to keep my strained marriage together & continue to work a full time job. 

My friends from my pre-baby life didn't understand why I couldn't ever meet them out for dinner or drinks or game-nights. Or maybe they did & just didn't care. They didn't know that at the time being without my son made me feel anxious like I couldn't breathe, like a physical part of my body was missing. 

I haven't told anyone this but leaving Mason alone with my husband when he was a baby made me super anxious as well. I had fears that something would happen to him in his Daddy's care while I was gone & that gave me a lot of anxiety. I think a lot of those fears stem back to all the years we dealt with infertility & loss. I thought as long as Mason was in my care then nothing would happen to him so I just didn't do anything or go anywhere without him. 

I am happy to report that I have gotten over those fears & anxiety & turns out Shane is an amazing father to Mason but it took a really long time to get there! It's funny because even though I felt like that I also felt that when I was with Mason, I was sure I was doing everything wrong as a first-time mother. I worried about everything & anything & felt like nothing would ever get better & nothing would ever change. I felt like this child would never sleep and I would never feel like myself again. These are the crazy thoughts you have at 2 am completely exhausted while rocking your child back to sleep.

Fortunately, once Mason turned 2 years old the fog seemed to have lifted. He was still not the best sleeper but was starting to finally sleep through the night which meant Mama was sleeping through the night. I was starting to feel like I had the routine down. Like I was becoming my old self again. I was even making some new friends at Mason's daycare which were "mom" friends & learning what "play-dates" were all about with these women & their kiddos.

I am so very thankful & grateful to have made several wonderful "mom" friends at a time when I needed their friendships the most. These women I now refer to as my Mama Tribe were able to understand my challenges as a new mom & support me through them. These girls started off as REASON friendships that turned into LIFETIME friendships. I'm able to be myself with them as we share stories about our kids, husbands & our lives & they get it. They also get me. They haven't replaced any other friends. They are just new friends - put in my life when I needed them the most. 

I still think about the friendships I have lost & miss hanging out with those girls. It wasn't just losing their friendship that was devastating to me. It was losing what the friendship represented. I had lost myself. I didn't feel like Heather the "friend" anymore. I was known as Heather the "mommy". 

My pre-baby life was gone. Everything about me & my life had changed. I drink wine out of Disney character cups. Going shopping means going to Carters or Children's Place & buying cute outfits for Mase. My evenings consist of playing games like Candy Land or Chutes & Ladders or watching Paw Patrol or PJ Masks. There is bath-time & story-time & many nights I fall asleep at 9pm next to my son. Any TV watching, blogging or "me time" is usually done at the end of the day, after Mase is asleep & the dishes from supper are done or laundry is changed out which is usually way after 9pm. This is my life now & honestly I wouldn't change a thing.

Mason will be five years old in a few days & looking back to those first 2 years I can honestly say I am in a much better place - sadly minus a few friendships. And even though I've embraced motherhood, I still think about the kind of person I used to be, the friends I have lost along the way & how my life before Mason came along was. 

It is hard to imagine that I was once the kind of person who wasn't concerned with nose or butt wiping, eating schedules, missed naps or temper tantrums. The kind of person who was fun, adventurous & spontaneous. I do see glimpses of her every so often, but I know that she, like my former friendships, no longer exist anymore & I am finally ok with that. 

I love being this friend known as "Mason's mom" & love all the amazing Mama friendships that I have formed the past several years. Whether they be friendships of reason, a season or a lifetime - I am truly blessed.

New Years Eve

Last year we brought in the new year over at Dana's house with the Mama Tribe + our husbands. This year wasn't any different other than location. Sara & I hired a babysitter for our kiddos & they had their own NYE party over at Sara's house...

Shane & I hosted the NYE festivities & it was so much fun! As usual, I made way too much food & everyone brought an appetizer & their choice of beverages to drink.

 

We started the fun around 730pm & after filling our tummies the cocktails started flowing & by 830pm things started to get crazy & fun!

 

There were shots...



 

Selfies with Dana...

 Old school drinking games like Flip Cup...

 

And Beer Pong...

 

And even a photo booth...

While we were all having so much fun the time was flying by! I just so happened to look up at the clock & it was 1145pm. Some how 3+ hours had escaped us & it was getting to be time to welcome in the new year. We turned on the TV to watch the countdown & when it was midnight we all celebrated, kissed/hugged our spouses & brought in the new year with a toast!

As I looked around the room at all these amazing people in my life, I couldn't imagine spending the new year with anybody else.....especially with this guy!

Hope you all have had a fun & safe new years eve as well & we wish you all nothing but good health & many blessings in the new year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Christmas 2017

 Merry Christmas from our family to yours!!

 

 

My most favorite holiday has finally arrived & I couldn't be more excited! And to top it all off my Mom is here with us for the holiday weekend & will be spending Christmas with us! She gets to participate in all our holiday traditions & see how we do Christmas around here :)

Sadly I was on call most of the holiday weekend & ended up working quite a bit but I didn't let that put a damper on my spirit! Besides, I looked at it in a positive way - I was making money to help pay off Christmas gifts!!

During one of the evenings after getting called in, my co-worker Kenzie & I stopped by The Magic Tree on our way home for a selfie pic. She had never been by to see the tree before so I was excited to show her what it was all about!

I love stopping at this tree every year. It is so pretty & so magical. I had wanted to take Mason there this year but sadly we never made it. Hoping next year we can put it on our holiday "to do" list!

Sunday was Christmas Eve & we spent the day doing our annual traditions of making sugar cookies for Santa....and having fun with Snapchat :)

 



We spent the rest of the day hanging out watching movies & anxiously awaiting Santa's arrival. Before Mase went to bed we had to take the annual picture in front of the tree with his cookies for Santa, sprinkle the reindeer food outside for all Santa's reindeer incase they needed a snack & hang the magic key on the front door so Santa could get in.

After Mase & Daddy fell asleep, my Mom & I brought all the gifts up from the basement & organized them under the tree. I would have to say that Mase was a pretty good boy this year!

The next morning there was one pretty excited little boy after he saw all the gifts under the tree! Luckily my kid likes to sleep in just like his Mama so no one was up before 7am....except my hubby of course who is the early riser in the family.

We all gathered in the living room & let Mason hand out the gifts. He had so much fun opening his gifts & handing us our presents as well.

 

And we can't forget our furries - Winston & Fiona. Santa even left presents for them...

After all the gifts were opened, the boys spent the rest of the morning putting toys together & playing while my mom & I made breakfast. Then for lunch we headed over to Shane's mom's place where they had a nice Christmas brunch & we spent a couple of hours visiting with her, Shane's aunt & his cousins.

Later that evening we all put jammies on, jumped into the car & drove around the area looking at Christmas lights. There were some awesome light displays but these two were my favorite....

 

The 1st picture is of Deanna Rose Farmstead - one of our favorite places to go in the summer time & the 2nd pic is of a neighborhood that is entirely lit up with lights. The pictures don't do a very good job describing how amazing it was - you will just have to believe me when I say it was super cool!

 

As we were oohing & aahing at the light displays I noticed it had gotten quiet in the back seat. I looked back there to see if Mase was ok & needless to say, this is what Mason thought of the lights....

Sound asleep. He totally missed out on all the best light displays. Oh well, there is always next year!

So with that said, another Christmas is in the books! We had a wonderful time celebrating the holiday & enjoyed having my mom here with us! Next year I am hoping we can get back to South Dakota the weekend of Christmas & then head back to our house Christmas Eve so we can enjoy our own annual traditions once again.

I hope you all had a wonderful time spent with your own families & wish you many blessings in the upcoming new year!