Miss Ava's 1st Birthday

So I have a very dear friend in my life named Jen & she has a very special little girl named Ava - you may remember me writing a post about these two last year? Well Miss Ava just so happened to have her 1st birthday party this past weekend & it was amazing.

The birthday girl & her beautiful Mama Jen

The theme was Lil' Cupcake & Jen did an amazing job at putting this little celebration together. All the little details that us mommies worry about were absolutely perfect & the afternoon was a super fun time. 

All of Jen & Miss Ava's family & closest friends were present for the festivities & Ava looked adorable in her 1st birthday outfit. She seemed to have a super fun time opening all the presents & smashing into her cake.

Mase seemed to have a good time also hanging with all the little ladies & especially loved this chair. Such a typical boy choosing to hang out in the recliner...even if it was pink :)

Jen did such an amazing job putting Ava's party all together! It is a shame not to show you all so I thought I would share with you some pics of her amazing party "details":

Birthday sign at the front door

Cake table

Yummy cupcakes & Ava's smash cake

Favor bags

Monthly pics of Ava's 1st year

There was even a bouncy house in the garage for the little's  :)

And the moment that is the best at any 1st birthday party - the smashing of the cake! This was definitely a birthday throne fit for a little "princess":

And last but not least, a pic of the Mama's & their babies:

 

Ugh - these two little cuties are getting so big!! Here is a pic of them together exactly one year ago this week:

Happy Birthday Miss Ava - we are looking so forward to watching you grow through the years & making lots of fun memories with you!! 

A Child Changes Things

Every now & then I will take a moment to use this blog to talk about something serious going on in my life in the hopes that talking about it may possibly help someone else. Because let's face it, as much as I would like you all to believe, my life is not all hearts, flowers & pink sparkles.

So I'm going to get serious for a second & throw this out there - a child changes things in your life you never thought possible.

It is a saying I have heard a hundred times - a child changes things. Until you’ve actually had a child enter into the relationship with your other half of the parenting team, one would have very little idea what that actually means. Take my word for it....things have changed.

I was driving to work the other day & took a moment to pray for my relationship with my husband which lately is having its fair share of "downs" due to everyday life & stressors. Mid-prayer this song came on K-Love & it was one I have heard many times before but have never truly listened to the words. As I listened to the song word for word I felt like the artist was singing that song about us:

God's timing is amazing.



So after I hear this song I start wondering how could we "restore" our marriage - the one relationship that created this amazing little blessing to begin with & still manage to be good parents? Some days it often feels like an impossible balancing act. Some days we fail miserably. But we always brush ourselves off & face a new day....together.

Two months ago Mason turned one. It was a big milestone for him but I felt like it was an even bigger milestone for us.While Mase got to smash his cake & tear into all his generous presents, my husband & I secretly celebrated the fact that we made it through the first year of parenthood - still together & still in love with each other. But also there was a little part of me that had longed for those days together when life seemed so much simpler. Our relationship seemed easy & not strained. Time didn't seem to go so quickly.

If you’ve ever raised a child getting through that first year is a big deal. I don’t care how many parents you talk to who offer their many words of wisdom, there is just no way to prepare for it. You will get all kinds of advice - wanted or not - but seriously until you have lived it you have no way of knowing what to expect. Your relationship with your spouse will change, as will your priorities, & the first year can set a tone for your relationship that lasts – or, sadly, doesn’t last. 

This past year I have learned that a relationship with your spouse is not something you can just put on the "back burner" & hope you come out of it alright once your child leaves the nest. It is something that constantly needs nurturing & attention in order for it to survive & sadly your spouse becomes on the bottom of the list of things that need your attention.

I have been witness to two marriages now of two very dear friends who mean the world to me that have fallen apart shortly after the baby came & it just makes me so very sad. It makes me look at my own relationship with my husband & the fear is always there that we too could fall into that "trap" because it happens all to easily as I have personally seen it.

Even though we have been parents for over a year now,  this parenting gig is still fairly new to us. During that time we have faced lots of challenges as "mommy & daddy" as well as "husband & wife" but so far through it all we have made it through the other side of things & better for having gone through it. Along the way we managed to commit ourselves to a few "rules" to follow & I truly believe it has made all the difference - for us anyway.

So I thought I might share with you a few things we try to follow as reading about it just might help a relationship or two - especially if you are living in that 1st year with a child! Now I am in no way a counselor or therapist & sometimes I have been told I can be full of sh!t but the great thing about this blog is sharing experiences & others learning from them. If I have helped even one person along the way then to me it is worth it putting this all out there.

So - rule #1: “Me Time” is very important. 

And by very important, I mean of the utmost importance. My husband has always known how very important my girl-time is to me & I know how very important his "guy" time is to him. Lucky for me he has been amazing by never taking this little pleasure away from me - even post-Mason. It is something I look forward to now more than ever since I have become a Mommy because let's face it - every now & then this Mommy needs a much deserved break!

Most of your first few years of parenthood will be spent giving your child undivided attention to make sure he doesn’t choke on an object that shouldn't be in his mouth in the first place or electrocute himself or try to feed the dog torn pages from the new book you just bought him. And while you’re doing that, dishes are piling up in the sink, your living room floor is constantly covered with razor-sharp, foot-gouging toys, the laundry pile is no longer a pile but a mountain, you realize the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in 2 weeks & you are slowly slipping into sleep-deprived delirium because after a year your child STILL isn't sleeping through the night.

*side note - I am happy to report after CIO attempt #2 last month Mason has been sleeping from 7:30pm-6:30am without making a peep the entire night! I have had so much glorious sleep these past 3 weeks that I'm not quite sure how to act!?!

It’s a never-ending battle & one that usually ends with you lying face down on the floor on a Friday night at 8pm after picking up previously mentioned razor sharp, foot-gouging toys for the third time & this after working all day, picking the baby up from daycare, feeding said baby, having family-time for an hour, giving said baby a bath, getting baby ready for bed, rocking said baby to sleep & then doing the dishes from supper.

This is now my life & oddly enough I love every minute of it. But as a parent who works as hard as I do, I sometimes deserve a break. So embrace your “Me Time,” & don’t for one second feel guilty about it. 

For at least one hour a week, watch that guilty-pleasure reality show you know is senseless but absolutely love. Read a trashy book that doesn’t make you think too hard. Read a book that does make you think hard, but one that is not about parenting. Let the laundry pile up. Have a girls-night-out. Do whatever it is you need to do to recharge your batteries or you will end up eventually losing yourself if you don’t take a break.

Rule #2: You & Spouse versus baby. Not you & baby versus your spouse. Day to day stress can be the #1 enemy of parents & it’s very easy to let it take hold of you. I know when I am stressed I end up saying things to my spouse that is usually taken out of context & can sound like blame. Unfortunately my spouse gets the majority of my stress & frustration because he is the person I spend the most time with & he's the easiest & most readily available target. If you can try to resist that temptation of blaming with your words that is half the battle.

My hubby & seem to have the most success NOT when we blame the other for whatever the situation is but instead look at the situation & try to make a joke of it. Laughing together in stressful situations is always better than screaming at each other - which is also a good lesson to teach Mason.

Rule #3: Don’t keep score. Parenting isn’t the Super Bowl - although at times it can feel like it. You don’t get points for doing the most dishes, changing the most diapers, or making the most middle of the night wake-up calls so try not to brag about it. You & your spouse should be a team, each one of you with roles that are hopefully divided evenly - although it may not seem that way at any given minute.

Speaking from my own experience, the fastest way to turn a disagreement into a full-blown argument is to tell your spouse in that all too familiar snarky attitude, “Maybe YOU should change one of his diapers for once,” or “How come I’m always the one that gets up in the middle of the night with him?” Chances are if you feel like you’re carrying all the weight in one area, your spouse is carrying it in another. All the back-and-forth's “I do this ALL THE TIME” and “Oh yeah, well all last week I did THIS” can spark a fight faster than anything. Instead of focusing on who’s done what or what isn't getting done, try to keep in mind that you’re both on the same team & it doesn't hurt to ask for help - which I am guilty of not doing.

Rule #4: Pick your battles. This would be one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received & it was from my mother. This pretty much sums it up:

Rule #5: Go to church together. Ever since we got married we have been trying to find a church to call ours. It has been easier said than done being a born & raised Catholic who got married to a born & raised Baptist who were married in a Methodist church. We have attended different denomination's & just haven't found the right fit & honestly we both got tired trying to test out churches so we basically gave up & stopped going.

Now that Mason is part of our family, I want him to be raised in a church community complete with a bible school & strong youth group so we have been looking for that right fit yet again. His daycare is run by a great group of ladies who all attend the same church & they often will display posters of upcoming events put on by their church for families to take part in. 

We attended the Halloween party last October which was so much fun & this past Sunday we attended the Spaghetti Supper fundraiser for the youth group to be able to go to church camp this summer. The spaghetti dinner was a huge turnout with so many familiar faces & they made us feel so welcome. So this Sunday we are attending service there for the 1st time & I have a feeling this will be the church we call "ours". Never have I been so excited to go to church! I am looking SO forward to getting back into it, going together as a family & finally belonging to a church community. I have heard many, many times that something as simple as going to church together can improve the quality of your Christian marriage so it is a win, win!

Oh & guess who is going to be watching the babies in the nursery on Sunday? Our babysitter Miss Katie - YAY :)

So there you have it - words of wisdom by HT that I have learned in the past year. A child does change things but it shouldn't change things for the worst. It is up to you & your spouse to keep that spark alive, to be a team & help each other out, to not fight about the small stuff because in reality...it is all small stuff.

Hearts, kisses & pink glitter,
HT :)

Thirsty Pallette

Tonight it was my turn to host our monthly "game night" festivities! We have had a busy couple months with Shane's dad passing, finishing our basement, life with a one year old & no time to deep clean my house for guests so I was trying to think of something fun the group could do outside of our home.
 
A co-worker of mine had recently had a ladies night out at the Thirsty Palette & raved about how much fun it was so I sent out an email to see if any of the ladies would be interested in doing a game-night "field trip" & luckily all of them were willing to give it a try.

If you have never heard of it, the Thirsty Palette is a cute little place where you can gather to paint your very own masterpiece to take home. Every night they have a featured painting & have an artist there who will demonstrate to the group stroke by stroke how to paint a near identical version of it. While you are painting away, you can enjoy the girl-time, the fun loud music & a glass of wine or beer from their fully stocked bar.

All the girls met at Houlihan's for happy hour & the place was jam packed. They have great special's on app's & cocktails from 4-6pm so we sampled many of their different app's, sipped on a cocktail & enjoyed catching up with one another.

We then headed over to the Thirsty Palette, grabbed a glass of wine & got our "paint on"!

The girls concentrating on painting a perfect picture:

We are half-way there to the finished project:

Jilly & I taking a little break to pose for the camera:

And here are all the girls with their awesome paintings:

Here is a side by side comparison of the picture featured on the website & my version of it on the right:

What?? I could seriously be the next Vincent van Gogh don't you think???

LOL - ok maybe not. My buildings look nothing like the original & my moon resembles Pac Man but hey, we all had a fabulous time & the group agreed to definitely do this "field trip" again!

40 Bags in 40 Days

Today is Ash Wednesday which marks the start of the Lenten season & will officially end in 40 days on April 17th. 

The Lenten season is seen as a time to give up something pleasurable – which could be anything from chocolate to habits like swearing or procrastinating. So for the past week I have been pondering what I might "give up" during that time. 

This past Tuesday my sister posted this on Facebook: 

As I read further into it I thought "what a clever idea"! You are abiding by the Lent rules by "giving something up" as well as decluttering your house & simplifying your life! It's a Win Win :)

With the hopes of getting our house ready to put on the market in the near future, we need to do some serious down-sizing of our "stuff" - especially my husband's "stuff". He has become a bit of a "pack-rat" ever since I have known him. As I look around our home there isn't a drawer or closet or room that couldn't use a little tidying up & decluttering.

So how does it work? This challenge is a forty day period in the spring (coinciding with the 40 days of Lent) where you focus on cleaning one area per day. It could be a room, a closet, a drawer, the basement, the garage - whatever area you want it to be. In this one area you challenge yourself to declutter, simplify, decrapify, & to get rid of things you don’t need. The goal is one bag a day but it is ok if you have more or less. 

What kind of bag do you use? It can be any kind - small or large! Lawn-sized garbage bags, boxes, grocery bags, tall kitchen bags, ziplock bags. Try not to get hung up on the "size" of the bag. Instead focus on that one spot per day & get it clean. Try not to get all crazy & take on four or five different spots because you want to prove something & please don’t get all bummed out because you missed a day - or two. Just focus on one. spot. per.day.

What do you do with all the bags? Whatever you want but the goal is to get it OUT of the house. Your stuff can just be organized, or donated, given to a family member or friend, go in a garage sale pile (but make sure to have that garage sale), make a little money by putting it on Craigslist to sell, or it could simply just go into the garbage. The goal is to get it out of your house!!

You can click here if you need some ideas of what areas to declutter! As I said earlier I know our house has TONS of areas we can clean up & simplify & I am challenging you all to do the same.

If you go to this website, it will also give you some great ideas of "non-stuff" things to organize & declutter also.

So who is with me on this? I will try & take some before/after pics as I tackle on certain areas to validate my actions.

Let the decrapifying begin!!

Rock Chalk!

With me & Mase traveling to Wisconsin last weekend & Shane traveling to AZ for work - along with spending over a week in Denver - we really haven't seen each other much in the last 2 weeks so we were both ready for some much needed "mommy & daddy" time. This afternoon we had a "post" Valentine's outing doing what we both love - watching our beloved Jayhawks!

We had our favorite babysitter Miss Katie come & spend the day with Mason while the hubby & I made our way to Lawrence, KS. We had a quick lunch at Applebee's & then made our way over to the KU campus for the game.

We ended up sitting where we sat last time - right behind the student section & enjoyed cheering with the rowdy students once again! KU was playing TCU which is one of the worst teams in the Big 12. We had both joked that if we lost this game like we did the last time we attended that we wouldn't ever go to another game in Allen Fieldhouse again.

  

Perry Ellis had an amazing night scoring 32 points for the team & it was awesome to hear around 16,000 fans chanting his name every time he made another basket. KU won 95-65 so I guess it is safe to say that we will be attending another KU basketball game in the future.

 

It was another fun "date" with my hubby & it was so good getting to spend some quality time with him & see him smile as things have been pretty rough for him since his dad passed away!

 

Looking forward to having many more "dates" like this one with him in the future!!

Crafty

Those of you who know me know that I am "crafty" & I don't mean "crafty" as in the Beastie Boys song of 1986 :) Ever since my grade school days I have always been one to create & make crafts & later do projects around the home & if I know I can make something cheaper than buying it then I will take it on. 

Since Pinterest came along, I have gotten many of my ideas from this inspiring website & have been "pinning" those ideas left & right with the hopes of one day getting to make, replicate, recreate or redo all these ideas. 

So once I had Mason & the holidays rolled around I got super excited as I had remembered some of the craft ideas I had pinned & was SO excited to finally be able to make & give said items.

At Christmas time, I surprised the staff at Mason's daycare with mini-cupcakes from Gigi's Cupcakes:

Now these aren't Pinterest-inspired but they were adorable & I just had to share how cute they were. The frosting is made to look like a Santa, 2 wreaths, snowman, puppy & reindeer & the staff LOVED them!

For the four ladies in the infant room who took care of Mase 5 days a week, 9-10 hours a day they each got a little Christmas gift box filled with warm fuzzy socks, lotion for the feet, chocolates & a Target gift card. Some may say that seems like a lot but these ladies are amazing & deserve it!!

I had made a cute little sign for inside the box that read: "Wishing you cozy and warm toes all winter. Love, Mason"

The girls LOVED them & I felt all warm & tingly inside for having made them & given it to them!

Next holiday was Valentine's Day & I had been dying to make Mason's little valentine cards for his class along with treats again for his daycare ladies. I had seen both these ideas on Pinterest & while Mason was down for the night I whipped up these cute little valentine's:

They are filled with little cheddar goldfish & the kids & their mommies loved them! I may or may not already have next year's Valentines planned out :)

The jars behind the treats were filled with Valentine M&M's. I covered the lids with scrapbook paper & tied a ribbon around them with a little tag that read "It takes a big heart to help shape little minds".

I also made some Valentine Snack Mix for Mason's class which was another Pinterest "find" which I put it in a large mason jar. The daycare ladies said the kids "ate the heck out of that snack mix"! It had Cheerios, Frosted Cheerios, Strawberry/Apple puffs, Berry yogurt melts & yogurt covered raisins. Super easy & makes for a cute treat :)

So that is a little recap of some of the "crafty" fun I have been doing. I have already been researching what I can do for the little kiddos at daycare as well as the daycare ladies for St. Patrick's Day & for Easter - so excited!

I guess you can officially say that I have turned into one of "those" moms & proud of it!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone from the cutest little "heart breaker" you ever did see :)

Wisconsin trip

Mase & I are off to Wisconsin for the weekend to visit my sister, her family & to meet my sweet little niece Dana Jo. I had booked a 545pm flight so that the travel would correlate with Mason's eating/sleeping schedule but that got royally screwed up as we had to sit & wait at the airport for 3 hours for our plane to arrive. Had I checked my email before we left for the airport I would have seen the message sent from Southwest Airlines that our flight was delayed. Boo :(

Mason actually handled the wait time really well but by the time we boarded the plane it was 830pm, it was way past his bedtime & he was starting to get super fussy from being overtired. I had hoped he would sleep on the plane but that little stinker stayed up the entire time. The descent of the plane was no fun either as he screamed his little head off & I felt so bad because I knew his little ears were really hurting. He ended up falling asleep just before we landed into Milwaukee which was around 10pm. I had to go pick up our baggage, change Mason's diaper, put him in jammies & go get the rental car. I didn't think the night could get any more stressful but little did I know it was only the beginning.

I am in line at the Hertz rental counter & there are 3 people in front of me & only one desk clerk. While I was standing there patiently waiting the lady at the counter was getting really upset with the desk clerk using some colorful language & the next thing I know security has come & is trying to calm her down which only pissed her off even more. Security ended up hauling her away as she became irate & all I could think was "good riddance - now only 2 more people to check in before it is my turn". Ugh - it was 10:30pm & all I wanted was to get my car & get on the road as I had a 1 1/2 hour drive ahead of me. 

So I finally get the car. It is -5 degrees outside. I have a baby asleep in a stroller, a huge piece of luggage & a big ass car seat I am trying to haul all by myself. I have yet to install the car seat & let me tell you it was the biggest pain in my ass ever. It took 20 min to get that damn thing installed & it still wasn't even installed correctly. I was freezing, my baby was freezing & I had had enough. I tightened the carseat down as best as I could, put Mase in it, said a little prayer nothing happened to us during our drive & away we went.

The drive was uneventful...that is until I was about 20 miles from my sister's house. I may or may not have been doing 80 miles on a highway where the speed limit was only 65. Next thing I know there are red & blue flashing lights behind me. It is now 12:30am.

The officer asked me why I was in such a hurry & I was so pissed & annoyed that I had gotten stopped that I was in tears. I told him I had been traveling all night, I was exhausted, I had a baby in the backseat & I was trying to get to my destination before I fell asleep behind the wheel. Then he gives me the guilt trip about how a baby in the backseat is even more reason for me to slow down, that there are lots of deer that cross these roads at night, blah blah blah. Ugh - I get it - just write me the damn ticket already.

So he takes my license & insurance card back to his car. 15 min later he comes back & says he is letting me off with a warning ONLY because I am out of state because in the state of WI if you are out of state & get a ticket you have to go down to the police station right then & there & pay your fine no matter what time of day/night it is - I guess WI wants their money & they want it now! If you don't have the money to pay your fine you spend the night in jail. 

So lucky me got off with just a warning - thank goodness. I finally arrived to my sister's house around 1am & Mase & I slept like a rock - until around 6am when I heard the pitter patter of little feet & someone saying "Aunt Hedder - are you awake?" in my ear :)

The majority of the weekend was spent hanging out snuggling with this little sweetie:

She has got the craziest tuft of hair on her little head which makes for a great mohawk & I love it:

Mason loved the baby & everytime he would walk past her he had to stop, check on her & give her a little "love pat" which was so stinkin' cute! Ugh - my baby looks SO big next to my sister's baby :(

Saturday I told my sister I would be in charge of making dinner & we of course had to have dessert so while my sister was away at a Pilates/Yoga training class my nephews & niece helped me make & frost cupcakes:

While frosting the cupcakes the boys insisted that we had to "try one" just to make sure they were ok for everyone to eat after dinner - lol. Good thing they both deemed them edible!!

When we had left Kansas, Mase had a cold & late Saturday afternoon he started running a fever. He had been crabby & real clingy all day so I knew something was up. His temp got to 102.7 during the middle of the night so I ended up taking him to the Urgent Care Clinic Sunday morning thinking it was another ear infection. The Dr. said his ears were clear & it was probably just his cold which didn't sit right with me as colds don't usually produce a high fever like that but whatever - I went with what she said since she was the Dr afterall. 

Sunday afternoon my brother-in-law was kind enough to stay home with all the kids while my sister, Mason & I ventured on over to the Outlet Shoppes at Oshkosh for a little shopping. I was giving Mase Tylenol throughout the day which was keeping his fever down & he wasn't near as fussy so I was thankful for that. The children's stores at the outlet mall were having all the kids winter clothing on clearance plus an additional 20% off so I ended up buying a TON of clothes for Mason for next year for CHEAP! Mason didn't appear to be as excited as Mommy was:

But then again he wasn't feeling quite himself so that is understandable. Once we got home we all gathered around the table for dinner & as I was feeding Mason I noticed something in his ear - brown, goo oozing from the ear canal. I don't know how his ears went from looking "clear" 8 hours earlier to an oozing mess but next time I will listen to my gut. I should have known better - he had a cold, he screamed the entire time the plane was descending, he was acting not "himself", the high fever....it all points to an ear infection & the brown oozing goo confirms it. 

After dinner my sister & I got all the kids bathed, put to bed & we spent the rest of our evening enjoying the peace & quiet over an ice cold beer, popcorn & watching our guilty pleasure "Keeping Up With the Kardashians".

Monday we spent the morning packing up our stuff, getting in last minute snuggles with Miss Dana, my nephews, my niece Jensen & then we were on our way to Milwaukee to catch our early evening flight. Let's just say the trip home was a lot less eventful than it was coming there! I had given Mason Motrin & Benadryl an hour prior to his flight per the Pediatrician's instructions & he did awesome! No crying, no fussing & he kept himself entertained the entire flight. We already have an appointment first thing in the morning to the Ped's office to get those ears looked at & get an antibiotic. Poor little guy.

Despite the crazy start to our trip & the fever/ear infection, we had a great visit to Wisconsin & I look forward to seeing everyone again in July when we meet in Minnesota for our family reunion!

Here are a few more random pictures from our weekend. As I look through my pictures I only have one of Tanner when we were making cupcakes - not sure how that happenened :(

My sister & Dana

Mase "pre" ear infection = happy boy

My niece Jensen & Mason

A very proud Cael holding his Minion valentine box he made:

Aunt Heather & sweet Miss Dana:

Ugh - I just LOVE that hair :)